My Favorite Color
by Jean Cooper
Summary: Left bitter and heartbroken at losing the love of his life to farmer Jack, Gray is less than thrilled when Jack's sister arrives to be part of this new family. But will he discover that maybe he just needs to be needed?*update- Finished!
1. Prologue

**Hello everyone. Seeing as how my moods have been swinging from one extreme to the other, I've decided to post the prologue for MFC, this way when I'm in an angst-y mood I can now be productive, seeing as how it's hard to write MEMF when I'm in one of those moods. This isn't going to be a funny story, and its mostly, angst and drama, hurt/comfort stuff. So this story is in Gray's POV. I hope this doesn't make anyone cry ;**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HM. The song is Feather Moon by Vienna Tang. I don't own that either.  
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My Favorite Color- Prologue

I stood at the peak of the mountain, my small puffs of icy breath barley visible in the night. Stars above me glistened like crystalline tears- the tears I would not shed. The snow was falling silently, it had been for hours. Some of the discarded snowflakes coated my shoulders, and when I turned my head I saw some of them fall from my hat bill. The chilling wind bit at my bare face, but I was completely numb to it - to anything.

_**Feather Moon**_

_**Scarlet Sky**_

I didn't like what I felt when I could feel- the hurt, the anger. It moved through me like a disease, spreading and consuming any good thing about me, leaving what was left of my hollow shell angry, empty, and lonely. Perhaps that was what I was most upset about. The loneliness, the thought of dying alone with no who needed me, no one who wanted me. The moon's light made the sky around it a deep violet purple and a glowing ice ring surrounding the whiteness of the moon.

_**Living clouds my blinded eye**_

_**Waters black, wood in snow**_

_**Dead of night, How bright you glow**_

If Mary didn't want me, who would? I had always thought that we were destined for each other. My frozen hands barely held two items as they violently shook, trying to circulate my blood throw my body. In one hand a piece of paper with a crummy poem:

_Blissful Silence I thought_

_That's what will grant me access_

_To her heart- But I was_

_Blind- to her feelings_

_Her desires_

_She Needed Me to _

_Speak out-to her _

_For her._

_But I sat in my Corner_

_Everyday passing by,_

_Silent in hopes_

_She would see me._

_Now He is her Voice_

_Hers- What I want to be…_

I crumpled up the piece of paper and glared at the wadded up ball before tossing it down the mountain top. I wasn't hers and she wasn't mine. She had been stolen away like a priceless treasure in the night. Did you know that it takes less than half a season for an outsider to come in and destroy everything you've worked for for years?

_**Breath in, breath out**_

_**Exhale and inhale,**_

He rotted us from within as far as I was concerned. But then I have to wonder- was there really ever that? - an us? We certainly went to all the festivals together, but I suppose on her end it had been as friends. She couldn't have known about my feelings - she wasn't telepathic. But she wasn't completely oblivious either. I had given her my heart - wrapped up tight in a box and she'd thrown it down without even opening it. He had beaten me to her heart - he was her first love. I couldn't even have the satisfaction of knowing that I had beaten him to that - her first love, her first kiss.

_**Seven sins,**_

_**God of stone**_

_**All is true down to the bone**_

He had it all, and I had nothing. I was nothing to her, nothing to anyone. No one wanted me, no one needed me. I could just follow my poem down the mountain and no one would really care. Sure they would mourn, but only for one day, then it would be like I never existed, like I didn't matter.

_**Feather moon**_

_**Scarlet Sky**_

I held up my other hand towards the full moon, letting the light illuminate the small blue feather that I grasped. I gave a sad smile at the item of false hope, thinking that maybe if I turned around and ran back to her, if I gave it to her she would leave him for me. She would happily enter my arms and never leave. We would marry, have a family, and die old.

_**I love you endlessly**_

I laughed emptily as a strong gust of wind ripped the feather from my hand and sent it dancing around me, mocking me and everything that I thought that feather had stood for.

_**Not knowing why…**_

Mary didn't love me. She didn't need me when she had him…when she had Jack.

_**Breath in, breath out**_

_**Exhale and inhale**_

With that silent confession I turned to head down the mountain, wondering to myself - would anyone ever need me…could anyone ever love me.

_**Breath in, breath out**_

_**Exhale and inhale…**_


	2. Yellow

**Thanks to everyone who reviewed the preview-ish chapter. I wanted to end this here, so I decided to post it already. I'm not sure when the next chapter will come up, most likely after ch 17 of MEMF, and it's looking to be about two weeks till that happens, but these chapters are going to be short and to the point. Hope you guys like **

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**Yellow.**

I had been comfortably numb for nearly a week. A whole week since I had my epiphany on Mother's Hill. I hadn't really felt any anger, resentment, and best of all, no heart break. I had foolishly begun to think that maybe I was healing.

But it was New Years Eve, and I was leaving the shop. I had stayed later than usual and even worked on the holiday, finding it easier to bury myself with work and its constant structure than allow the uncontrollable and unpredictable thoughts I had to occupy my mind. Ironically the tool I had been working on was that of the farmer that was the cause of my negative thought and feelings. But seeing as how those feelings and thoughts were under lock and key somewhere, I had completed the task.

So now I was delivering the tool. I silently entered the dead farm land, hibernating from the winter cold, ready to bring some type of life to the area when the snows melted. Standing outside the recently extended house, I gripped the tool tightly, trying to gain the nerve to knock on the door. That's when I saw it.

The color yellow.

It was bright and happy. When it was compared to the dull whitish snow, blanketing the ground, covering the earth in a temporary death, I found myself growing angry. The yellow blur was visible in the window of Jack's house, moving about slowly in the warm home.

It was a young girl, moving through the house-A young girl that obviously wasn't Mary.

I pounded on the heavy wooden door, glaring as I heard the shuffling of the girl and the slow opening of the door as her face peered out.

She was relatively young, with very large eyes, and her hair was ridiculously long, tumbling past her waist in a flowing light yellow mass. She seemed to be scared, or timid, and I raised an eyebrow as I looked down at her examining. She looked straight ahead, eyes boring into my chest as she quietly whispered

"Can I help you?"

"Is Jack home," I grunted, watching as the girl visibly flinched, hands gripping the door tightly as she took a step back, closing the door slightly.

"No he isn't. I believe he went with Ms. Mary to the top of the mountain to ring in the New Year." She said, her head tilting down, evidently unwilling to look at me.

"Well I've come to deliver his tool. Can I leave it with you," I muttered, glaring at her distastefully. What kind of a woman was this? Who was she? Probably a relative, but the irrational side of my mind reeled with the thought that this was the other woman, and that Jack was being unfaithful to Mary.

"I suppose so," she replied softly, head still turned down as she opened the door, holding her hands out.

"If he has any problems, tell him to take them up with the blacksmith," I muttered, thrusting the tool into her outstretched hands, and not feeling the least bit guilty when she stumbled back. As soon as she steadied herself I spun on my heels, hurrying to the exit of this farm.

"Thank you, Mr. Blacksmith," she called out after me, hand waving enthusiastically in my direction. I turned to look at her skeptically, but she disappeared into the house quickly. Was she not quite right in the head, to let me act the way I was to her, and be so polite when I left?

And so New Years came and went, and the first festivals of Spring began. I was forced to several of them, against my wishes by my grandfather. And of course seeing as how most festivals were for couples, I was forced to be alone.

Mary and Jack where for the most part absent from these festivals as well, much to my relief. I didn't want to acknowledge them as a couple in public. However my good fortune was not to last and I finally saw them together at the Goddess Festival.

Mary was stunning, and I had always thought she looked wonderful in pink. Her glasses where gone, just about the only day she didn't wear them, and I admired her from afar while she was escorted to middle of the square to perform the Goddess dance with the other girls. And I saw it for a second time

The color yellow.

It was the same flowing blonde hair, and the same girl. She stood in a corner, staring at her feet. I couldn't make out much about her as she was on the other side of the square, and being as how Jack was next to her, I dare not approach her.

Could they be siblings? They weren't very similar at all. He was tan with chocolate hair, which his missing hat revealed as unmanageable and wavy. She was pale with impossible long and straight blonde locks. She looked….sickly wasn't the term. Perhaps sheltered. I had yet to see her walking down the streets of Mineral Town alone, let alone with Jack.

After the Goddess dance was over, I watched unpleasantly as Jack and Mary talked amongst the other couples, my gaze falling back on the mysterious blonde. She was dressed in a Goddess dress. I wondered briefly why she didn't participate in the dance.

She was…captivating, I suppose. Not bad to look at, but her mannerisms left me bewildered. I watched when Popuri, her neighbor approached her, seemingly uneasy with Rick as they spoke to her. She smiled and nodded, and they eventually walked away and left her alone again. She seemed…unhappy. Out of place might be the better way to put it.

Just like me.

We were both alone. We both were hiding in corners. We both had obviously been forced to come here despite our will not to come. We both were…seemingly…unwanted.

Unnecessary and…discarded while the rest of the world went about having a grand old time.

We stood idly by while the rest of the loved and lived. We could only watch, envious of the gifts they didn't even know they were lucky enough to have. Not until someone just took away their happiness, their reason for living.

I stood for a long time, completely still in my thoughts as I watched her. I felt a connection with her in my idea that we were similar. Out of place, unwanted, a burden. That was what I wanted to think.

Jack and Mary approached her, and they both took one of her hands, pulling her along as they left the square. Leading her like she was wanted, like they wanted to drag some third wheel on their romantic date. And had it been anyone else but Jack and Mary, I would have offered to escort the girl home. But I wasn't going to take away the chance for it to rain on their parade.

I turned my back, and walked swiftly towards the inn, all thoughts of the color yellow leaving my mind.

I'm not sure how much time passed before I saw it again. I had lost the concept of time and its passage since the winter. It could have been a few days, or even a few weeks. But eventually I saw it again. I saw her again.

I had left the shop, intending to go back to the inn and lock myself in my room. The cool spring breeze had picked up into a strong gust, and sent my hat fluttering madly in the direction of that farm. I had of coursed chased after it. My hat was very important to me, for some reason I was still unable to explain.

I picked it up off the red brick path, dusting the dirt off of it and placing it back on my head. I looked up and saw that girl, seemingly distraught and lost, walking through the yard.

Her hands flailed out in front of her wildly when she tripped over a branch in the field, falling to her knees. She made no cry for help, no outcry for pain either. She simply laid there on the ground, her shoulders slumping in a defeated sigh.

I went to turn to leave, but found my body walking over to her of its own will. I was many things…but I couldn't leave a possibly injured girl to fend for herself. As I approached her I stepped on a stick of some type that made a cracking sound.

She jumped at the sound, looking to the left, then the right, and back. She backed away and I stopped. Her head jerked in my direction, wide scared eyes looking right at me.

"Who…who is there?"

Wide scared eyes…that couldn't see me.


	3. ForgetMeNot Blue

**Hello everyone. This chaper is a little different in several ways than the previous two, but I hope it passes for enjoyable at least. Umm...special thanks to all the reviewers for last chapter:**

**_Mr. Muffin-_ yup. blind. and yes Gray is always adorable, even when emo.**

**_friend-_I updated, so now you cant hunt me down xD**

**_Ultra Drama Queen-_o-o its okay to feel bad for Gray. I want you to feel bad for Gray. I'm glad you like the stroy, and I hope you stick with reading this one ;P j/k, Thanks for the review. I hope that you get more time to read and enjoy all the fab fics out here.**

**_Sol-_ Thanks...and yeah, the color theme comes up a lot in this story :P**

**_Flying Gummybears-_Thanks so much. I hope your still happy with it after this chapter.**

**_Pro-chan-_ You are my bestest friend ever and I hope your satisfied with how I ended this chapter.**

**_b4k4-ch4n-_ It is a lot different the MEMF. Gray is a lot more emo and Claire is a lot more bubbly. But the story itself focuses on Gray, and we'll see his take on things, and his trying to deal with Jack and MAry, and overprotective Jack. I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.**

**_Blue Cupcakes-_We all have angsty mood from time to time. Thanks. **

**_Mistress Darky_- ;P stop stealing my plot bunnies! j/k. I'm sure you'll be happy when that comes into play though, since you can sort of already see it happening. Jack's really not a bad guy, he's just over protective.**

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**Forget-Me-Not-Blue**

_Wide scared eyes…that couldn't see me._

Her eyes were blue. A light shade of blue I had seen on a flower which name escapes me. They contrasted to my deep midnight blue greatly, and I wondered if that was their true color, or maybe it was just what he eyes looked like now, hidden behind some unseen shield that caused them to look like this, and her not to see.

"Jack, is that you? This isn't funny," she muttered, her scared features taking on a look of annoyance.

"No…I was walking by…and I saw you fall," I whispered quietly, remembering the first time I'd spoke to her…and how I acted…how I looked at her. I felt guilty about it now, even though she would never know. She backed up at the sound of my voice, a bit of panic rushing over her features.

"Who..who are you," she whispered, her voice a near whimper. I wonder if it was true fear of me, or fear of what she couldn't see that made her so frightened. Either way it made me uneasy, and the need for her to not fear me growing with every second.

"My name is Gray…I'm the blacksmith apprentice. I work next store." I answered, not approaching her any further. She nodded after a moment, her hand coming out in a gesture to shake a little ways to the left of me.

"My name is Claire…I'm Jack's sister."

"Where is Jack?" I mumbled,

"I have no idea where he went…and I haven't learned my way around the area yet…" I grabbed her hand, staring at her face as I shook it.

"Are you hurt?"

"I don't think so."

"Your eyes…." I trailed off, trying to pin the shade. Her face fell and she looked down, looking extremely depressed.

"I know…"

"They're the color of forget-me-nots." I finally finished, a small smile appearing on my face as I finally remembered the name of the flower.

"I…well…no one has ever said that to me…" she stammered, cheeks flushing.

"Well…do you need help or don't you?" I muttered, a little harshly as I remembered WHERE I was and WHO she was to MY enemy.

"Oh yes, please." She replied, apparently a little shaken by my tone. I grabbed her hands and helped her to her feet, trying to calm myself so I didn't make her uneasy.

"Your brother is extremely irresponsible for leaving you here alone," I muttered under my breath.

"I…I came out with out permission. I'm supposed to stay inside. But…it gets terribly boring in the house you know?" She said, wringing her hands together and tilting her head to the ground nervously. I raised an eyebrow at her statement.

"Stay inside? Why?"

"Jack worries about me…he doesn't want me to do anything alone." I could understand that. But that didn't give him the right to leave her alone in the house all day. She cold go out, make friends. What harm was their in letting her follow the railing to Poultry Farm?

"But you shouldn't have to stay inside all day."

"He thinks inside…is safer for me." She whispered, a frown gracing her features.

"I see." I murmured, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. She seemed to be in deep thought for a moment and then her eyes widened considerable as she gave an apologetic look in my general direction.

"Oh dear. I'm terribly sorry to dump my problems on you. It is selfish of me to speak ill of Jack like that. I'm sorry you had to hear that."

"Why are you apologizing?"

"Because I was being selfish and…"

"Well don't. If there is one person who doesn't mind hearing ill things about Jack in this entire village, its me." I muttered with irritability.

"Oh…"

"If you ask me…it's terribly selfish of him to lock you up in the house day after day. Why does he do that?"

"Because…there isn't anything for me to see out here anyways." I stared at her. Was that his reasoning?

"Well if that's the way he looks at it…there isn't anything for you to see inside either, is it?" I muttered, removing my hat and sighing in frustration. This girl…Claire. She seemed really nice. I would never had thought she was related to Jack.

"I suppose not. But…Jack just doesn't understand. I…I believe that I can…I can survive out here," she murmured, her hands gripping her pants as she spoke. "I came outside yesterday and walked ten steps to the left…all the way to the fence. And back. All by myself. They taught me to memorize…my way around. But…" I bit my lip as her eyes begin to glisten with tears of frustration, and I nervously stuck my hands in my pocket.

"Don't cry." I commanded, though it was really a plea. "He won't show you around, and he won't let you do it, right?" I offered and she nodded her head, covering her face with her hands.

"I can do it, if he'll just give me the chance. But he's so worried that…that I'll get hurt or something…" she began to explain, furiously wiping tears from her face as she continued. I swallowed a lump in my throat. Wordlessly, I grabbed her hand and led her back to the house, placing her hand on the door.

"Alright Claire. Walk to the fence." I asked softly, and she took in a deep breath, and I watched, fully intrigued as she took ten steps to the left, hand softly grazing the fence railing, and she then turned to me. "Now…try to find the opening to go outside from there. It's to your right when you're facing the fence." She followed the fence, and when she got to the gap she turned her head back to me.

"Five steps to the right for the opening," she stated, and then smiled brightly. She had…a very contagious smile. "Stay where you are…" she asked, and she immediately began the path backwards, stopping in front of me and reaching a hand out, touching my chest. She proudly smiled, her hand going to her side as she realized she had accomplished her goal.

"I don't see why you can't figure your way out around town…There is a fence railing through out most of town you can use as a guide line." I whispered softly, turning my head to the side. My shadow landed on her face and she turned her head up towards me, and for a moment I thought she was looking at me.

"Can I see you…" she whispered, a shyness over taking her as I raised an eyebrow. "I mean…can I touch your face?" she explained, looking down. I slowly nodded and then realizing that I would obviously have to answer her I replied

"I don't care." The words that were meant to be indifferent and uncaring came out slightly soft and amused to me. Of course she wouldn't catch that, she had only just met me, after all.

"Thank you," she whispered, before reaching out, her hand laying flat against my chest. The other hand came up, palm resting where the fingertips of the other hand ended. "You're tall," she supplied, after she finally reached my shoulder, her hand coming up and resting on top of the second one.

She was using her hands to gage my height, and when she reached my shoulders, her fingers barley grazed my neck as she cupped my cheeks. I closed my eyes, as her fingertips glided over my face lightly, gently running over my cheeks, following my check bones over my nose and quickly back. I felt her brush over my closed eyelids and her thumbs followed my jaw bone, brushing over my lips as she studied me. She stood on tip toe, she had to have been, and her hands brushed over my hat. When she was done, she took a step back, looking nervous.

"Something wrong?" I whispered softly, looking at her in a new light.

She was…trying to be independent to the best of her abilities. She seemed to have a strong will power. And yet…when she touched me, her hands felt so soft…so tiny…and weak. She was the kind of woman that made men like me want to protect them. But this woman was obviously not wanting that. So I wouldn't bother. But I could help her…accomplish her goal.

"Some people…don't like it…" she said quietly. I nodded again, and then humphed, realizing that if I did chose to help her, I was going to have become more vocal around her.

"Some people are idiots too. Doesn't make it right." I muttered. Being angry at her for that…was like being angry for a regular person looking at you, wasn't it? "I'm going to show you around a little bit," I stated, crossing my arms over my chest. If Jack wasn't going to help her…then I would. No one deserved to be hidden away and sheltered like he was trying to do with her.

"Really?" she said, her excitement obvious in her voice.

"Really really. I'll show you were I work, the winery, and the library. They're all on the left down the path going straight when you leave this farm." Her enthusiasm was obviously contagious as well.

"One second, please," She said and opened the door to the house, and she emerged a few minutes later, a walking stick in hand. "Just in case, you know?" she murmured, seemingly knowing that I was looking at the stick.

"Alright. Now go ahead and make your way to the entrance to the farm, and I'll help you from there." I mumbled, suddenly aware that I had volunteered to help my enemy's sister. But the feelings I had for Jack had nothing to do with her. Nothing at all. When she reached the opening in the fence I walked over to her. "There is one step in front of you, and a fence to the left you can use to guide you to these places."

"Alright…let's go together," she whispered and she took the first step. I followed suit after she completed the step.

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_**Gray's Journal entry: Fall, 20**__**th**__** one and a half year later.**_

_The first step in a journey is the hardest one to take. The journey could be physical or metaphorical. This was one of those times where it was both. For her it was both, and for me as well. Looking back on it now, I would like to say that I was able to take that first step with her. But that would be a lie. However, I was able to take that first step because of her. But that always left me one step behind her…especially in the metaphorical sense._

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**Well, I threw that journal entry in, and most of the chapters from here out will probably have a short paragraph about the scenarios going on. I just liked the idea of writing the story, then looking back on the chapter with after thought from Gray's POV. Eventually the story line will catch up with the journal entries. The chapters are going to be to the point, and this whole story is appearing to be about 15 chapters max, plus epilogue. I hope you guys enjoyed it. It wasn't as angsty as the previous two, but the angst will come back. I'm off to work some more on MEMF, since most reviewers want a long chapter. Thanks for reading, and reviews make me happy.**


	4. Jack: Red with Rage

**A/N- all of the italics are from Gray's journal. The journal entry is all for the same date of Fall 20****th**** of the following year. Right now that's still one and half years from Gray's meeting with Claire. This story only covers the span of right before Gray met Claire and the whole year and…a half I guess…after he met her. Things will fall into place as more chapters come out. **

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**Jack: Red With Rage**

_I believe that at one point in their life, that everyone has done or said something that resulted in them eating nice piece of humble pie. My grandfather tried his hardest to stay away from it. But the day he met Claire, he felt obligated to not have a slice, but the whole thing. And I was the happiest I'd been in months to see it._

_It was really his own stubbornness, his unwillingness to listen to anything that I had to say to blame for it. No one in town except for Mary and Jack knew about Claire, blindness wise that is. And of course my self. But when he had spoken to her, he had been playing the 'you should respect you elder's card. And it had finally came back to bite him in the rear. _

We walked a few dozen steps down the path, and when Claire's hand stopped at the gap in the fence she said out loud.

"Twenty-five steps to…" she trailed off and I looked at her.

"The blacksmiths. This is where I work, with my grandpa. He's not the most…pleasant man to get along with." I muttered a little bit angrily. She nodded in reply and stayed still. "Alright…there are three steps up to the door," I said a little bit more softly.

Claire gave a nod and slowly shuffled forward, not letting her feet leave the ground until she hit the first step with her toes. She then carefully went up the steps, her hand resting on the door.

"From the farm exit, twenty five steps to the blacksmiths, three stairs up to the door. That's where Gray works," she murmured softly, and I felt the corners of my mouth twitch up in amusement. They pulled downward just as quickly when she turned her head back to my general direction and asked "May I meet him?"

I gave a ragged sigh, not really wanting to see him more than I had to as I opened the door, pushing her forward gently and calling out to him when I saw he wasn't at his desk..

"Hey gramps, I want to…" His rough voice interrupted me and I sighed. Him interrupting me was nothing new.

"What are you doing here boy? You got off a half hour ago. Finally decide to work harder did you?" He said with a chuckle that I rolled my eyes at it. Him putting words in my mouth wasn't new either.

"No. I didn't. I came back to introduce you to…" I heard him give out an irritable grunt and stopped, praying for patience. I didn't need to lose my temper after I promised this girl I'd show her at least three places today.

"Bah! You'll never grow up will you," he grumbled as he came from around the corner, obviously not pleased with my answer. However he caught site of the girl next to me, and raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Hello, young lady," he said, a little bit nicer than he had been talking to me.

"Hello, Mr. Blacksmith," she whispered quietly, stepping a little bit closer to me in the process. Look at that. My grandfather was so scary that he scared the blind. Claire nervously reached up, twirling a long strand of hair around her index finger as she bit her lip.

"And who might you be?"

"My name is Claire, and I'm Jack's younger sister. I live…with Jack next door," she said softly, leaning closer to me and I side stepped, uncomfortable with the distance. As she spoke she faced a little bit further to the left than where Grandpa stood.

"Look at me when you speak to me, young lady. It's rude to disrespect your elders like that," he said sternly, and I gaped at him. Claire didn't seem offended; she only gave an apologetic smile.

_A smile that I would find myself becoming used to more and more._

"Gramps…" I snapped and he glared at me.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Blacksmith. I don't mean to be disrespectful." She said softly and I turned on her, shaking her shoulder as I looked at her in disbelief.

"What the heck are you apologizing for, you…you can't help it," I muttered under my breath before looking at him and shaking my head. I didn't want to just blurt it out, so instead I reached my hand out directly in front of Claire, and waving it back and forth. She didn't blink, or step back. My grandfather's stern face fell and his ears turned red in embarrassment.

"Miss Claire," he said softly as he approached her, taking her hands in his. She jumped at the contact and he bowed his head as he continued. "I'm sorry." Talk about a different person.

"Oh, don't be. You didn't know…and…I don't want special treatment."

_She never wanted to be treated differently than the rest. But the fact remained that she was different. Even if she was able to see, she was still different from everyone I knew. A type of different the required special treatment._

I watched as my grandfather looked at her, a hint of remorse evident on his expression for the first time I can ever remember.

"Grandpa…I'm going to take her to the library with me," I muttered, grabbing Claire's wrist and leading her away, not wanting to be in here anymore.

"Gray….wait," she said softly and I immediately stopped, she turned back towards my grandpa. "It was a pleasure to meet you, Grandpa. I hope you don't mind me stopping by from time to time. If it would be any trouble, I won't…" she trailed off. Why did she call him Grandpa? Oh…because I didn't introduce him by name.

"No. I don't think it would be much trouble. Feel free to stop in and talk to us whenever you want…" he said quietly, walking back to his desk.

"Yes sir," she replied and the turned back towards me, her hand reaching out and brushing over mine. "Alright Gray, I'm ready."

I walked her to the door and then allowed her to make her way outside and to the railing. I looked at the winery, rolling my eyes at the building. Fortunately Manna was down in Town Square right now, and Duke was probably in the basement. Cliff would be outside, or maybe at the church.

"Follow the fence and the next gap takes you to the winery. You probably won't come here much…Duke and Manna run this place. Manna talks a lot. Duke is her husband. Cliff is about my age. He works here too." Claire nodded and began walking, her lips moving as she counted the steps.

"Thirteen steps," she said quietly as she reached the gap in the fence.

"Alright, now walk past the gap and find the fence again. The winery is closed right now. The next building is on the corner. That's Mary's library."

"Thirty two steps to the library from the winery." She said and giggled slightly. I gave a small smile and shook my head.

"Alright, Claire, this is the tricky part. The first part of this building is Mary's house. The second part is the library."

"Is there anything in between them?" I eyed the small ledge of flowers that rested between the two doors.

"There is an area for flowers. It protrudes from the house a little bit…" I said and waited to see how she would handle herself. Claire gently pushed her walking stick forward, tapping the stone of the flower arrangement and followed it around. She eventually found the wooden door to the library and put her hand on it.

"This…is where Mary works?" she questioned. She turned the knob and the door opened. I followed in the library right behind her, my eyes landing on the raven haired bespectacled woman at the desk.

"Claire!" she exclaimed, clearly surprised by the blonds' arrival. Mary stood, her glasses coming skewed by her hastiness in standing.

I didn't have to see her face to know that Claire was giving Mary a beaming smile. Here I had only known her twenty minutes and I could already tell that she greeted everyone with that smile.

"Hello Mary. How are you?"

"I'm fine Claire. But how did you…" Mary trailed off, eyes resting on me as her mouth formed a tiny o shape. I glanced uneasily to the side.

_Mary's intense gaze always made me uneasy. It had been something that both delighted and scared me at the same time. To know that feeling, of one looking through and seeing everything you're thinking. I had never thought that there was a more powerful gaze…_

"I saw her outside…she fell down," I offered, not really wanting to go into detail. Mary looked at me over the rim of her glasses and she gave me an approving smile.

"Gray, that was gallant of you. But my question is why was Claire outside when Jack has been telling me how ill she is?" The mention of his name caused me to frown and I felt myself pulsate in agitation.

"I haven't been sick…" Claire said, a confused expression taking over her features.

"But Jack said…" Mary began and I slammed the library door behind me, causing both girls to jump in surprise.

"I think it's pretty obvious he lied, don't you?" I muttered darkly, walking past them and a hand landed on my shoulder. I turned to look at Mary's confused eyes.

"Why would he…" she began and I shrugged. I looked at Claire, who was looking to the right of us, a curious expression on her face.

"Seems to me like he wants to keep her locked up in the damn house, that's all," I grunted out, a sympathetic expression coming over my face as I glanced at Claire again. She gave a sad smile and began to wring her hands together nervously.

"Mary…Jack doesn't want me to get hurt…so he wants me to stay inside." Claire began to explain, her head bowed down. I walked to Claire, hesitantly hovering my hand over her shoulder before finally placing it there in a comforting gesture.

"Just because he has good intentions…that doesn't make them right," I mumbled out, and she lifted her head, her hand coming up to graze my cheek.

_I learned over time that it was her way of giving you a thankful look. She told me…that it was a personal gesture. A silent thank you. I had been stunned when I found out, thinking over the thousands of times her hand touched my cheek. _

"That's silly. You've been taught how to do things…like get around. Jack said…oh that deceiving snake. When I lay eyes on him…" She muttered to herself, hands clinching into fist. One thing Mary couldn't stand was lying. It was one of the few things that could set her off.

Of course she didn't have to wait very long. Jack burst through the door panting and panicked, eyes seeking out his beloved immediately.

"Mary! Claire is go...ne…" he trailed off when he saw Claire and I together, his eyes falling to my hand on her shoulder until he met my own eyes. His brown orbs burned darkly as he looked at me with contempt.

"Get your hands of my sister," he hissed out venomously. Mary approached him and stood in front of us, glaring at Jack.

"Jack Nelson. I suggest you lose that attitude in my place of business," she said harshly, folding her arms and narrowing her eyes.

"Jack, you're over reacting…" Claire began her voice soft and barley audible.

"Overreacting! I come home and you've just disappeared!" He bellowed and I narrowed my eyes, my grip on her shoulder tightening reassuringly. Mary had jumped back at his voice, but Claire remained indifferent.

"I left a note on the table," she replied and stepped forward away from me. He raised an eyebrow at her and crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at me the whole time he spoke.

"I find it very hard to believe that you just decided to leave the house on your own. It appears to me, given present company…that you were forced to." He muttered darkly and I returned his glare.

"I did no such thing," I grunted, stepping forward and grabbing the blonde, pushing her behind me as I felt my temper flare.

"You probably broke into the house and drug her out," Jack hissed out, and stepped forward to me as well. I stared at him, refusing to blink as I clinched my fist at my sides.

"Jack," Mary chastised in the background, but Jack wasn't listening.

"You keep away from my sister and my property!"

"She's free to make her own decisions!"

"Excuse me," came a voice softly from behind me. But Jack and I were lost in argument.

"She doesn't know you like I do!" he growled out, leaning forward to attempt to intimidate me.

"You don't know anything about me! We've never even had a civil conversation!" I spat back, clearly not believing the foundations of his reasoning.

"Excuse me," the voice said a little louder, obviously distressed at the current situation.

"That's the point. You aren't the type of person I want her hanging around!" he spat back. At this point we were a few inches apart in our stare down, and the next comment or insult could lead to a physical confrontation.

"Excuse me!" This time is wasn't a request, but a demand and I stopped and turned on the source of the voice, whose face was red and eyes seemed to be swollen with tears. I cleared my throat in a 'brilliant' attempt to let this girl know she had at least my attention.

"Go ahead Claire," Mary whispered, obviously just as distraught with the situation.

"Jack. I went outside on my own. I…fell down outside, and Gray came to help me. I asked him to show me around, since you won't do it…" her voice cracked. "So please don't be mad at Gray. He was only doing what I asked…" she whispered as she wiped tears from her cheeks.

"…"

"Alright Claire…I won't. Please don't cry, alright," Jack pleaded and Mary placed a tissue in her hand. Mary turned on Jack.

"Jack Nelson…you and I need to have a talk about honesty…" she muttered under her breath and Jack paled. "Gray…will you take Claire home now?"

I looked at Jack, who didn't seemed pleased with the situation at all. If anything he was turning redder in the face with every passing second.

"Of course Mary…I'll take her back." I mumbled, pulling my hat down and turning to Claire. I opened the door and held it open, a patch of sunshine coming in and landing on Claire. She turned towards it immediately, holding her hands out in front of her like she was touching the light. I mimicked her for a second, feeling the warmth from the sun on my skin. "Let's go Claire…" I said softly, and she approached the door way, turning back warily.

"Jack...I can do this you know? I can leave the house…" she trailed off and I looked at her, my eyes never leaving her conflicted face.

"You just have to believe in her Jack. She can do it. This isn't the city you know…she'll be safe here," I added after her words and she gasped. A small grin appeared on her face and it grew as she reached up and clumsily cupped my cheek again.

"_It's my way of saying thank you for being here for me."_

_And for awhile, I was the only one she said thank you too. She needed me, and I needed her. When she smiled at me, the feelings inside me that were poisoning my mind were neutralized. She became part of the fabric in my life, a major thread that kept me woven into reality. _

_To say I had been ready to heal and move on would be a lie. But to say that she started the healing process would be the truth. As much as I wanted to resent her for that I couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to treat her badly, or to think ill things about her. _

_Claire had become my crutch. The bad thing about crutches is that you really didn't want them to begin with. But they helped you. But even so, despite the help, when you had the chance you would…leave them behind. Forget about them. You couldn't wait to get rid of that crutch. _

_If I had only realized that I was using her like that… I could have stopped that. If anything…I should have been her crutch._


	5. The Arrival of Purple: Kai

**Wow, I got a lot of reviews last chapter, and I would love to reply individually, but then the replies might be as long as the chapter, and that makes me feel kind of bad D: So I'm going to say thanks to all the reviewers, than I'm going to skim the reviews for the last chapter and answer any questions that were asked ;)**

**And the answers are:**

**Jack lied to Mary because Mary wants to treat Claire more independently than Jack does. He told Mary the reason Claire wasn't coming to the library was because she was sick. He was taking her in the winter, and since its spring he's busy and can't escort her everywhere. Claire's living with Jack because he's the closest family they have. Their parents are MIA in the story at this point, more will be explained. **

**This isn't all that long of a chapter, but good…ish news is I'm in an angsty mood, so maybe a sooner update. This chapter…isn't as angsty, and it might even had some humor/sarcasm work its way in here. Let me know what you guys think. **

**I DON'T OWN HM.**

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_Jack seemed to have taken my words into account or maybe it was Claire's pleading that she could do it on her own. Maybe Mary had talked some sense into him. But for whatever the reason he allowed Claire to leave the farm. Sometimes she would come into the shop, and chat quietly with my grandfather while I slaved away trying to gain his approval. Other days, when I was looking out the window at work, I would catch her following the fence line down to Poultry Farm and Yodel Ranch. Spring flew by rather quickly, the days growing longer and hotter._

_And the hotter it got, the same could be said for Jack's temper. Of course I probably hadn't helped matters, avoiding talking to him, getting to know him. Jack just drew a portrait of my entire character by how I interacted with him. I think it's safe to say that not many people that you hate can say good things about you._

_Jack had always been a thorn in my side at this point. He had taken away the person I had cared for the most. And now he was trying to keep me away from Claire. Of course at this point, it didn't bother me like it would later on. Jack was overprotective, and I now understood, and I really couldn't blame him. If I had been in his position, I would have fought tooth and nail to keep any man away from Claire, good or bad. _

"Claire, I don't want you to go with him," Jack grumbled angrily.

"Jack. I'll be fine."

"You don't understand Claire. He's not a good guy."

"I think he's a good guy Jack. You're just overreacting. Again"

"I am not. You just don't get it," he muttered out, taking his head in his hands and shaking it in aggravation.

"You've been fine with my being around Gray all spring, why the sudden urgency to keep me away from him?" she hissed out, putting her hands on her hips and stomping her foot.

"You don't need his help anymore. You can make it around town just fine by yourself. I don't see why you need him to escort you around!"

"He's not escorting me. Gray is my friend Jack..." he interrupted her, sputtering angrily.

"He's going to end up doing something bad to you!"

"I don't think he will," Claire said softly, her whole posture changing at Jack's reasoning. She didn't look very argumentative anymore. If anything her stance took on a docile appearance.

"Yeah! Well you didn't think Josh would either, did you!? And look how that turned out!" He bellowed out, and as soon as the words left his mouth a horrified look came across his face. Claire looked like he might have well have struck her. "Oh Goddess Claire…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

_Josh… I didn't know how much of an affect that name would have on my life. I didn't know what had happened with him and Claire._

I stepped into the property, making sure my steps came loudly. Jack turned on me, and his eyes narrowed, though he didn't seem as angry to see me as he usually did. I cleared my throat and pulled my hat down to cover my face.

"Is…this a bad time," I asked, trying to make it sound as if I hadn't just heard the conversation. "I can come back later…" I trailed off as Jack crossed his arms.

"That might be best. I don't think Claire wants to…"

"I'm ready," she said firmly, walking unsteadily out past Jack. She was nearly three steps in front of him when she stopped.

"Claire," Jack began and I watched as Claire clinched her fist, her face falling into a scowl for the first time since I met her.

"Jack. I'm leaving. I'll be fine. I'll be back at dark," she muttered angrily, and she hesitantly let her hand rise in front of her. I stepped closer to her, letting her fingers brush over my arm. She gripped my jacket tightly and stepped closer to me.

"We're going to the library. Maybe the inn too. Then I'll bring her home." I stated, and Jack looked at me begrudgingly. At least I was telling him where we would be.

The walk to the library was silent, neither of us saying anything. For the first time I thought that this must be what other people feel when they walk with me, this uncomfortable silence.

"_I've never believe in such a thing as an uncomfortable silence. Sometimes you say things the best when you say nothing at all." She had giggled. At the time, she hadn't made much sense to me._

I watched as her warily as we walked, trying to take in her tales, her give a ways. Her small fingers were clutched into fist and her posture was stiff. She kept blowing her bangs from her eyes, seemingly annoyed with her unruly hair. Every so often I could see her lips moving, silent words escaping them.

I should ask her something. It was only the friendly thing to do, hell it was the right thing to do. She obviously needed an outlet, and being as how most of the town had a high opinion of Jack, I was really the only outlet she had when it came to venting on him. I removed my hat, letting out a defeated sigh and pushing my hair back before returning the hat.

"Do you…want to talk about it?" I asked softly, thrusting my hands deep in my pockets. She jerked her head towards me, stopping her pace and opening her mouth. It just as quickly shut and she chewed on her bottom lip as she debated.

"I don't…feel like its fair that Jack holds a mistake I made in the past over me like he does…" She finally said, closing her eyes and letting her shoulders slump. "Not when it's a mistake…that I have to live with my entire life."

I raised an eyebrow at her words, not sure of what to say to make her feel any better. She wrapped her arms around herself, fingers gripping the material of her flannel shirt as she continued, her voice quite and strained.

"I understand his feelings on a lot of situations. I just don't understand why he can't understand mine."

"Situations?" I asked, though I already knew that situations was a code word for me.

"Jack thinks you are going to hurt me," she muttered, and I widened my eyes. I know that Jack and I weren't on the best of terms, but he seriously thought I was going to hurt her.

"That's ridiculous. Why would I hurt you? You're my friend…" I muttered out, kicking a rock in the path. I looked at her and waited for her to continue.

"You remind Jack a lot of someone who hurt me before is all," she assured me, turning her face up as if to look at the passing clouds. I found myself looking up as well, watching the fluffy masses of white blobs.

"What about you Claire? Do I remind you of someone that hurt you?" I asked quietly, never taking my gaze off the clouds.

_To know that Jack thought for a second that I would hurt Claire in any way hadn't bothered me so much at first. It was only natural to want the people you hated to hate you back with the same passion, wasn't it? But I remember on that day, feeling a sense of dread over take me as I waited for her answer. If I reminded Claire of someone who had hurt her, then what I thought was relationship, and friendship, was founded on fear and submission. Had she decided to be around me simply because she was afraid to say no?_

"Not in the least." She said firmly, and at her reply I heard myself release a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding as I looked at her.

"Let's go to the library now," I suggested, taking her elbow and guiding her forward, happy with her answer and ready to get out of the sight of the winery window, which Manna could be seen starring out and pointing at us as she spoke to someone inside.

We entered the library, and Mary, who seemed to have a sixth sense about these things, immediately walked over to Claire and engulfed her in a hug.

"Claire sweetheart what wrong?" she asked softly, brushing some of Claire's messy long locks out of her face and examining her worriedly.

"Nothing," Claire replied, her voice somewhat strained, as if Mary's hug had a releasing effect on a person's emotions.

"It's not nothing, you are on the verge of tears!" Mary protested and narrowed her eyes looking at me. "Did Gray upset you?"

Claire and I both blanched at her question, jumping back with matching shocked expressions on our faces.

"NO!" we both protested at the top of our lungs, and Mary giggled softly.

"Well then," she said softly, her voice quiet as she took on a stern expression. "The only person that could have gotten you this upset would be Jack."

"Mary…" Claire began, taking a deep breath. "I'd just rather not talk about it right now…" she trailed off and Mary hugged her tighter.

"It's alright Claire. You don't have to talk about it…" Mary said softly, and I let out a deep sigh, feeling somewhat uncomfortable in this estrogen dominated setting.

"So…I guess I'll just go to my corner over there," I said gruffly, trying my best to battle the estrogen with testosterone. At that moment little Stu and May burst through the door beaming widely at Mary as they closed the door behind them. Stu saw me and seemed to stop his childish behavior, standing up straight and crossing his arms over his chest, frowning. Honestly I didn't know if he was purposely being annoying or if it was unintentional. May shuffled forward, looking at Claire and then back to Mary.

"Miss Mary, will you read to us?" May asked softly, fiddling with the sleeves of her dress nervously as she shuffled back and forth. Mary smiled down at them apologetically and shook her head.

"I'm sorry but I was just about to read to Claire and…" she was interrupted by Claire.

"It's alright, Mary. Read to them. I can wait," Claire said softly, smiling so widely her eyes squinted shut. I raised an eyebrow at Mary's crestfallen face, and then chuckled.

"I think Mary was looking forward to reading to you Claire…" I said, walking up and looking down at Stu. "You…two want me to read to you?" I asked them, offering to help out. Stu scoffed up at me and shook his head.

"No way, Gray! You don't make the voices like Mary does. You make reading so boring," he muttered, sticking his tongue out and making a 'blech' sound. I scowled at him, resisting the overwhelming urge to pick him up by the scuff of his shirt and toss him out of the library.

"Stu, that's not very nice," May said quietly, shaking her head and looking at me shyly. "I'm sorry he said that Mr. Blacksmith…but… it isn't as fun when you read as when Mary does."

"Hey I know! Why doesn't Claire read to us?" Stu shouted, throwing his hand up in the air, a large grin on his face at his solution.

"Stu!" May exclaimed, slapping her hand over his mouth and glaring at him uncharacteristically angrily. I heard Mary gasp and my own eyes widened, my gaze wondering to Claire. She had her eyes closed and her hand came up to her mouth, trying to hide what was a giggle escaping her lips.

"I would love to read to you Stu. But I'm afraid I can't see the words…" She trailed off and stepped forward, her hand brushing over the top of Stu's head as she bent down to his level. May removed her hand from Stu's mouth and he gaped at Claire for a few moments, his eyes wide and scared at the realization of his actions.

"I'm so sorry Claire!" he cried out, lunging at her and wrapping his arms around her neck. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I forgot," he choked out as tears left his eyes. "Please don't tell Elli. She'll be awful mad at me," he pleaded and Claire simply hugged him and rubbed his back.

"It's okay Stu. I wont tell…" she said soothingly and after a few moments Stu calmed down. Claire…had been so nice to the little brat. She should have gotten mad, hurt, put him in time out or something.

_I had learned that people make mistakes, especially children. The only people who made more mistakes than them were the blind. The emotionally blind. Those who remained blissfully ignorant of their feelings until it was too late. I was blind. I had been so damn blind. _

_The following days left of Spring had been…eventful. Every day that passed, I felt the stinging in my heart lessen. It was something that was slowly ebbing away. Of course it had something to do with Claire. How could it not. I used her to busy myself, to occupy my thoughts. I began to show her the far side of Mineral Town, showing her how to go the hot springs and the spring mine. I also introduced her to Gotz, though they had already met at Jacks. I felt for her in a brotherly way, happy to watch her excitement when she accomplished another hurdle, her smile ever so damn contagious. I had promised Jack not to take her up the mountain. I was a man of my word if anything, so I refused to take her up there, for once agreeing with Jack that it was to dangerous a place for her to go. But on the last day of Spring, a turning point came. I can see it clearly now, despite how blind I had been to it before._

_The thing is…the end of spring brings several things. Goddess awful heat is one of them. Another thing was a gushing Popuri, and a fuming Rick. It also brought Kai. I liked Kai, he was a good friend. He had been the one to point out Jack and Mary getting closer last year. This particular end of spring brought something new to me at least. I had been running late. It was a Monday…_

I hurried out of the shop, ignoring my grandfather's yelling and slamming the door behind me. The crazy old man was going to drive me insane with his unrealistic demands. I looked down at my watch and let out a curse, walking fast past the winery. I was supposed to meet Claire at the bench by the supermarket.

I pulled my hat off and ran my hand through my hair in frustration. I didn't like being late when I was meeting Claire. And it seemed to be happening more and more this last week than ever before.

I could see the library up ahead and felt my heart rate quickening from my brisk pace. I rounded the corner by the library and passed the mayors house and then Ellen's. I froze in the middle of the path, looking up ahead to see a man standing in front of the blond, offering her a Goddess Drop flower. He was putting it behind her ear, his fingers lingering in her hair a little to long. And he was looking at her in a way that I didn't particularly like- a certain fondness in his darkened eyes. I felt my heart stop and my eyes narrowed, hot white flashing through my vision at the sight.

I felt my fist clinch and fought back the overwhelming desire to go over there and drag her away from him. I had no right, and that would only make me as protective of her as Jack. Where the hell was he when she needed him to keep people away from her? Preferably people who wore stupid purple bandanas.

_If I had had any sense at the time I might have done a lot of things differently. I would have listened to those urges to mimic Rick about what kind of bad news this was. But I wasn't really her brother, despite the overprotective streak that had grown in me since I met her. At the time, I hadn't felt like it was my place…_

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	6. A Hint of Green?

**Thanks so much to all who reviewed. Now…I'm going to go and try to work on MEMF before an angry mob attacks me v.v**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HM**

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_It's amazing…that as time passes by, your feelings change, your thoughts become clearer. Looking back on it, it was a turning point in our relationship. If I only knew then, what I know now, it would have been a hell of a lot easier. I could have done something different, like decked Kai like I wanted to the day he laid eyes on her._

I couldn't hear what was being said. I didn't like the body language that was going on though. I didn't like how I could make out Claire blushing, nor did I like how I could see the waves of cockiness rolling off of him. It was nearly drowning me from this distance. Claire reached up, and I narrowed my eyes more, watching Kai tense as she touched him, her hands resting on his chest.

His eyes closed as she began to feel his face and I quietly began to approach them, my temper rising with each step I took. Kai's eyes opened, and I sure as hell didn't like the way he was looking at Claire. His brown eyes were darkened, nearly an onyx color. His tanned cheeks were tinted with a light pink color, and he grabbed her hand, holding it against his cheek.

I stopped a few feet away from them and glared at him. Kai seemed to feel my gaze after a few moments and his eyes widened. He stepped back from Claire, rubbing the back of his neck.

"umm….Hi," he mumbled, clearly embarrassed.

I didn't say anything, but his reaction had Claire turning in my direction, walking unsteadily towards me, hands in front of her, searching. When she found me, I still didn't say anything. It took everything I could to breath normally and not tackle Kai to the ground right then.

How dare he look at her in such away. It had crossed a line for me, like when your best friend is caught shamelessly ogling your little sister. I felt Claire's hand glide upward, over my scowling face. She hit my hat with her fingertips and I heard her voice, soft and uneasy.

"Gray?" I grunted in response, my eyes flashing to her face for a moment, then immediately back to Kai. "Are you alright?" she asked in almost a whisper, and I didn't take my eyes of the uneasy traveler.

"Stomach ache," I muttered. Claire seemed to take this information in, and after a few moments of silence I looked back to her. Her mouth was formed in a perfect o shape and she gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I'll go to the clinic and get you some medicine," she said and walked away, finding the fence railing and heading to the clinic. I didn't bother to stop her. I wanted her gone, away from this leach's eyes and the few choice words I was going to give him when she went into the clinic.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, though it did absolutely nothing to calm my temper or make me want to pound Kai's face any less. I approached him, my steps quick and intimidating. He cringed when I got closer, glaring down at his shorter form.

"Easy Gray. I didn't know she was your main squeeze now," he muttered and rubbed the back of his neck more furiously. His words enraged my temper even more, and I poked him in the shoulder somewhat hard.

_I had tried to tell myself that I wasn't jealous. I was concerned. Kai had a certain reputation in this town, and from this moment I began to believe that it couldn't be completely unfounded. After all, how could he look at her like that? With that burning need. It was something lustful, animalistic. It infuriated me, and it still did to this day. I always hated the way he looked at her. _

"She is not…" I muttered out before I began to lose control of my temper. "How the hell can you look at someone like that…that you just met?" I hissed out.

"Well…incase you didn't notice, she's kind of on the pretty side," he countered, stepping back slightly. "Beautiful even."

"That's not…you know what I mean," I growled out, crossing my arms over my chest. Kai's face darkened, a blush washing over him.

"Well…I didn't mean to…" he began, looking away in his embarrassment. "I'm sensitive to touch, I didn't know...it would turn me on so much," he muttered frowning. "I didn't mean anything by it. But hell Gray, I'm just a man. I run off testosterone just like you do," he finished, and I took a shaking breath.

"You're nothing but a hormonal teenager," I growled, grabbing his shirt.

"I'm not the one about to beat a guy to a bloody pulp for looking at some girl in a lewd way. I'm not the first man to do something like that to a woman and I won't be the last," he muttered, clearly getting as agitated with me as I was with him. I tightened my grip on his shirt.

"You had better watch yourself. Claire is Jack's sister, and Claire is my friend, and so help me if I even so much as get a inkling that you are doing anything unacceptable towards her, I'll take you to the mines and leave you so deep in there no one will find you."

_It was the worst threat I could think of at the time. One that my grandfather often used on me when I was screwing up rather badly or when he thought my attitude needed an adjustment. I used it a lot when I got that angry with someone, most often on Stu when he was being unusually annoying. It was an empty threat. But…on that day, for the first time I wasn't so sure if it was empty or not._

"Gray," came Claire's soft voice floating from behind Kai and down the path far enough for me to see she had just came out of the clinic. She had a bottle of medicine in her hand, and I released Kai's shirt, walking past him and to Claire, taking the bottle from her hand.

"Thanks," I mumbled out, and glared at Kai over my shoulder. "You ready to go to the library?"

Claire nodded at me and then called out, somewhat unsure, probably not knowing if he was still around. "Kai?"

Kai hesitantly approached her, well me more than likely, and cleared his throat.

"Yes Claire?"

"Would you like to go to the library with us?" She asked with a wide eager grin, her eyes squinting from it.

"I …have to get ready for beach day tomorrow. I need to go and clean up the Snack Shack and get it ready for opening day. You should come by sometime Claire. It would be fun. You can bring Jack, and I'll give you a snow cone on the house," he rambled on and I thrust my fists in my pockets. Better my pockets than his face.

"We'll…" Claire said hesitantly, and then gave a slight nod. "I don't see the harm."

_The woman had never seen the harm in anything. She had no idea what harm was going to come. Of course, it wasn't like…Kai harmed her. It wasn't like she ended up harmed at all. But I had been harmed by something like that. Something she saw no harm in. Claire…I don't think the woman had it in her to intentionally harm someone. _

_No harm…I can sit here and laugh about it now. Of course it's somewhat a bitter laugh. The aftermath of the things that have happened, they've given me a very clear insight on events. Maybe that's why I'm writing down what happened, so with this hindsight, I can see what I should have done in this situation, what I could have done differently. If I could change things, Goddess I would. I would change a lot of things. The events that happened over the next few days didn't help matters any. Not with Kai and his charisma, not with me and my temper, and certainly not with Claire and myself..._

Claire and Mary were sitting under the shade of an umbrella, while Jack and I were standing a little bit off to the side. Jack and I had finally made a semi truce, especially when his sister had come home talking about the 'nicest, charming, and complimentary young man.'

We were here for beach day, Jack and I were competing in the swimming race, Mary was going to watch, while Claire…just listened.

"This sucks," Jack muttered, arms folded over his bare chest as I scanned the beach for the tan traveler. I simply nodded in agreement, keeping the same stance. Jack let out a bored sigh and slumped slightly. "You know, you could try to make conversation with me," he sighed out, kicking some offensive beach sand in front of him.

"I don't like you," I offered, a smirk on my face as Jack gaped at me. His face turned a little red as he blew his shaggy brown bangs from his face.

"Yeah…well I don't like you more," he retorted. I snorted as his lame response.

"Whatever…" I muttered and continued to scan the beach. After a few moments of blissful silence on Jack's part, I heard him mutter under his breath.

"Maybe Kai wouldn't be so bad. At least I like him." I raised an eyebrow at him and shrugged.

"And yet here you stand, ready to pounce on him…" two light giggles from behind us interrupted me, and we both turned to see Mary and Claire, Kai sitting in between them and telling the something rather humorous.

"Where the hell did he come from?" Jack growled, hands dropping to his sides as his fist clinched, for a few brief moments, out postures and faces mirrored.

Where the hell did he come from was a damn good question. I don't mean to be funny nor am I trying to make a joke, but it seemed that when it came to getting around women that were trying to be protected from him, that he gained ninja skills or something and could easily avert physical confrontation at any cost. Rick's ranting and random reasons that you shouldn't trust or be around Kai made more sense. But…they both had seemed happy. Claire had seemed happy, sitting there with a large grin, cherry snow cone in hand as the juice stained her lips red, and Kai causally scooted closer and closer to her.

"I know that Kai is not blatantly putting the moves on my sister, who he just met, in front of me, Popuri, Rick…and her personal body guard," he muttered darkly, taking a step forward.

Personal bodyguard? I guess that was me. I would rather be referred to as a concerned friend, but I would make that clear after we averted this…whatever you wanted to call it. Of course I didn't get the chance to avert anything. Jack had stomped over to the girls and grabbed Kai by the bandanna, a wild grin on his face.

"Kai, old buddy, old pal, old friend! How have you been doing? Golly it's been ages! Let's go over to," he paused looking around before dragging him away more "the other side of the beach and rehash the golden rules of guys and friends," he suggested in a happy tone.

Claire was sitting there with a bewildered look on her face while Mary was stifling giggles at Jack's obvious attempt to not SOUND as pissed off as he looked. I glared at Kai's nervous grin, and narrowed my eyes on him. Jack drug him up to me and jerked him up right before both of us locked arms around his shoulders, smirking down at him in away that said 'you're in for it.'

"You know the rules…like…not putting the moves on your best friend's sister…" Jack whispered out, his grip on Kai tightening as we turned. "Come on Gray! Let's go and catch up with Kai's travels," he said loudly, almost happy sounding. "We'll be back shortly girls," He added, grinning broadly at them over his shoulder.

_I had always thought Jack was a little nutty. The over protective thing was really kicking into gear, though he was at least trying to be more subtle with Kai than he was with me. Jack told me later on, that he hadn't always been protective of Claire. That…he always figured that things would be different if he had protected her like an older brother should. I suppose that…where Claire was concerned, we both would have done a lot of things differently in retrospect. _

Kai wiggled free from our grasps and took a few quick steps in front of us and spun around.

"What is your problem Jack?" He muttered out, straightening his beloved bandana.

"My problem is you're putting the moves on my sister, and if I had let it go on long enough I'd probably see you putting the moves on my girlfriend," Jack growled. Kai looked offend and then looked back at me.

"I wouldn't come on to a taken woman. And just for your information, I wasn't coming onto her. I'm being friendly. I know that with this charm," Kai said, holding his chin and flashing a grin. "it's easily confused. But I'm just trying to make friends with her." I raised a disbelieving eyebrow while Jack snorted.

"Yeah…you're just being friendly, and Gray's decided to open up and become a kindergarten teacher."

"You know…you could try to insult him without insulting me at the same time," I muttered darkly, before crossing my arms over my chest again.

"Gray…Jack, nothing is illegal or criminal about sitting next to a pretty girl and talking to her…"

"You just want her to fall for your good lucks you leach!" Jack growled and stepped forward, only to be stopped by me.

"Jack…" I began slowly, trying to keep in mind that he seemed to be a rather intelligent human being when not controlled by his over protective brother hormones. "I'll give you a minute to think about what you just said…" I trailed off there and looked at Kai, while Jack seemed to realize what he had just said about Claire and blushed in embarrassment. "What I said yesterday still stands Kai. If…I even think your intentions around that girl are not honorable, I'll be on you like white on rice." Jack seemed to find his voice and chimed in.

"That's right Kai. You…better not do anything inappropriate or make my sister cry, or you'll have to answer to us," he warned and Kai nodded.

"I don't plan on making her cry."

_He kept his word for the most part. I don't think I ever saw her crying because of him. He never hurt her, intentional or not. Kai was a gentleman, living up to his word. It's hard to resent someone…who did everything right I suppose. He didn't lie, or spend months in denial, or do anything like I did. But even still…I wanted to resent him, just like I had done Jack. But for some Goddess only knows reason I couldn't do it._

"What!? Explain to me what's wrong with it! Come on!" I bellowed, wanting to take the 'poorly made tool' and crack Gramps right between the eyes with it. I heard the door open and hoped he wouldn't continue with someone walking in.

"What's wrong with it!? The answer is inside of you! You have much to learn!" He shouted back and I felt my temper burst as I turned around, lashing out at whoever the hell had just walked in. I locked my eyes with wide blue eyes as I shouted.

"What are you looking at!? If you have nothing…" I stopped abruptly, feeling my chest tighten and my fist clinching as I realized it was Claire.

"Gray! How dare you talk to a customer like that!" He stopped as well as he turned around and came out to where he could see the customer. He gave me a scowl as he saw Claire, and I pulled my hat down.

"So…Sorry." I murmured, though I froze when I looked up at her. Her eyes were glistening with unshed tears. Crap…

"I'm sorry. It seems that…I've come at a bad time…" she whispered and turned to go back outside. She seemed distracted, thrown off, by the argument that she had walked in on. She knocked over some tools by the door, and I immediately approached her.

"Claire…"

"Goddess I'm so sorry! Did I…did I break anything?" she asked, hands frantically searching over the objects she'd knocked down. Her hand was gliding closer to the knocked over sickle that had just been sharpened.

"Claire don't!" I said harshly, but the warning was too late.

"Ouch!" she cried, pulling back her hand and holding it to her chest, her tears actually beginning to fall.

I kneeled next to her and pulled her hand away from her, wincing at the blood pouring from her hand and seeing the smear on her overall bib.

"Don't just stand there you daft old man. Get the damn first aid kit before she needs a blood transfusion or something!" I barked out, taking off my jacket so I wouldn't get blood on it when I tried to wrap her wound.

"Your over exaggerating boy, it's not that bad." He muttered when he handed me the kit, squinting at her hand. "Probably going to need stitches though. Best to wrap it up and go to the clinic," he stated softly, patting Claire on the head.

I poured peroxide on the cut, and blew on it softly when it fizzed and Claire took a sharp breath, her bottom lip quivering. I grabbed some gauze from the kit and wrapped her hand tightly and then stood, pulling her up.

"Come on," I grunted out, somewhat still angry at my grandfather, and still angry at myself for shouting at Claire. She hadn't done anything to deserve my lashing out at her. And because I lashed out at her, she was hurt. I ran my hand down my face letting out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm sorry about that Claire. My grandfather…was giving me a hard time. I didn't mean to be rude to you. It's just…he never approves of any of my work. I'm ready to quit. I fell stupid, you know?" I ranted on, removing my hat and pushing my shaggy bangs back before returning it. Not that Claire really cared about why I yelled at her. It didn't make it any better.

"It's called training Gray." She stated softly, not even bothering to turn her face in my general direction. I stiffened and took a deep breath, shoving my hands in my pockets. I suppose…from an outsiders point of view it was that simple.

"You're right. Me being a whiner about it won't make anything better." I said quietly, her words and my own realization making me feel a little bit better.

"You just have to keep practicing. That's all. And before you know it, you'll be a master blacksmith." She said just as softly as before, and I pulled her towards the clinic, my ears reddening at her words.

_I thought everything had been okay after the walk to the clinic. She had to get five stitches in her hand, and they bandaged her up neatly. But the next day, she didn't come back to the forge. She didn't meet me at the entrance to Jack's and her farm to go to the library, and when I got to the library, she wasn't even there. At first I thought I was over reacting, that she was simply busy, helping Jack in the farm or something. But another day passed and I didn't see her, and on the third evening, when I came into the inn after waiting at the library, hoping she would come in, I heard Kai talking to Cliff._

"I don't know much about her, you know, but she seems a little down in the dumps. I mean…even snow cones didn't cheer her up."

"Kai…" Cliff said quietly, rolling his eyes at the traveler's words. "Not every woman is as easy to figure out as Popuri. Snow cones don't always make everything better," he said with a weak smile.

"But Claire…was so happy a few days ago. Then the other day she just seemed…depressed." I stiffened at the words, and Cliff looked over Kai's shoulder and at me.

"Gray knows her better than I do. Why don't you ask him about her?" Cliff said with a shrug, standing and leaving the room.

"Well?" Kai said expectantly.

"I haven't seen her in a few days," I muttered after a long silence between us.

"Then it must be you. Now that I think about it, I distinctly remember her saying she didn't want to bother you." I staggered slightly, my mouth hanging open.

"W-what?" I said, a since of bewilderment filling me.

"Claire said she didn't want to bother you. Something about she didn't want to cause any trouble between you and your grandfather…" he trailed of there, a knowing smirk growing on his face.

"She wasn't the reason we were arguing!" I protested.

"Well Claire seems to think you don't need any distractions and that you need to focus more on your work," Kai drawled out, and shrugged his shoulders. "Not that I mind, she's spending all her free time at the beach with me now," he finished with a large Cheshire cat grin.

"Kai…you just…mind your own damn business!" I growled.

_Change…I hadn't much cared for it. I didn't like it when I had to move to Mineral Town and be with my miserable grandfather who seemed to go on living by chastising me. I didn't like it when it brought Jack and a weird sense of foreboding to the town. I damn sure didn't like it when it took my chance with Mary away from me, and as much as I hated it then…I hated it more now that it brought Kai into the mix. Kai himself…Kai wasn't a bad person. I knew that, and yet I wanted to paint him up as the villain, as my rival. Maybe I turned him into that all on my own. Maybe by trying to justify my actions and call them anything but the truth, I pushed her closer to him. Hell who am I kidding…that's exactly what I did. I spent the whole summer trying to deny any feelings besides friendship. But the truth was…I was scared. I was scared he would take her away from me._

_A normal person, given the choice between a happy go lucky guy like Kai, and a depressed quiet somewhat rude guy like me…anyone would chose to be with the happier guy. Writing this right now, laying in my bed alone, that's more proof than anything I need. But…it wasn't her choice was it? I ask myself that question everyday._

_I can sit here and make excuses, sit here and belittle myself all day long. But the answer is always the same._

_It was my choice…my decision._

_And I screwed up…_

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**Alright, that's it for now. The summer isn't over in this story yet, so get ready for more rivalry scenes between the two. Review and let me know what you think.**

**I've also got a prequel one shot, or possibly a three shot in Jack's POV on getting together with Mary. It begins with him coming to town, and will probably end where this one began. I like the idea of you guys seeing the story from different perspective. Jack's part will be entitled The Light in the Darkness or something lame like that v.v It mainly focuses on him and Mary, and will have several flashbacks between him and Claire. I'm probably going to end it when Claire comes to town, but if you guys have any suggestions let me know.**

**Let me know if you guys want me to work on Kai's POV now or wait till I finish this story first. I have a poll on my profile about what I should work on next. Vote if you want. **


	7. Becoming a Little Crystal

**Heads up: This is super depressing and deals with themes that might not be suitable or agreeable with certain age groups. It took me forever to get semi-happy with this, and I'm still not liking it. Please review and let me know what to improve on or if I got my point across. Sorry for the sadness.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own HM.**

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_I didn't sleep that night, after talking to Kai. I couldn't. I laid in bed, staring into the darkness and letting out the occasional sigh. She wasn't a distraction. At least not from work. Maybe in the beginning I had used her like a distraction, something- someone to keep my mind off from Mary and Jack, and it had worked. I hadn't thought about them, not near as much. I hadn't sat in the library wallowing in my own self pity in nearly a season._

_Feeling sorry for myself, trying to place blame, it didn't solve anything. It had been more productive to show Claire around, to have her sit in the chair next to me and read out loud so she could enjoy the story too. It had been a blessing to me, that someone needed me._

_But now that summer was here, now that Kai was here…it was like all of a sudden she didn't need me at all…_

I walked out of the forge, squinting at the brightness of the sun. I turned to the right; marching in the direction of Jack's farm and feeling myself scowl as I entered the property. What was I even doing here? Why did it matter that Claire was spending all of her free time with Kai?

Jack opened the door, his face somewhat surprised at seeing me. He crossed his arms over his chest and arched an eyebrow at me expectantly. I let out a large sigh and shoved my hands in my pockets.

"Is Claire around?" I muttered, though I knew already she wasn't. I knew where she was at; I knew who she was with. So why was I even asking the question?

"She's at the beach. Kai came and picked her up early this morning," Jack mumbled, looking downward and scratching his head around the edge of his backwards hat. "Her hand is doing a lot better," he offered with what I guess was an attempt at civil conversation.

"Good, good," I said, nodding my head and pulling one of my hands from my pockets to pull the brim of my hat down. "He…He's being respectful to her, bringing her back on time?" I asked, oh so non-suspiciously.

"He….he cuts it close. But she seems to be having a good time," Jack replied, the awkward silence between us growing. "So Claire says you've been really busy," he began, leaning against the frame of the door and finally looking at me. "I'm glad to see that you're able to spend more time with her. Kai is a great guy, but frankly he is starting to get on my nerves," he said with a small chuckle.

"I haven't been busy…" I muttered, once again avoiding eye contact.

"But Claire said"

"The other day she came to the forge and walked in on an argument with me and Gramps," I blurted out, ears reddening. "I yelled at her, but I didn't know it was her…and she cut her hand, and then…well I took her to the clinic and apologized, and she hasn't…talked to me since." Jack stepped out of the house the door shutting behind him.

"So you lost your temper and took it out on my baby sister?" he asked for clarification. I nodded dumbly and he narrowed his eyes at me. "How did she cut her hand?"

"She was trying to leave, and she knocked over some tools. I tried to tell her to stop when she went to pick them up, but she had already cut her hand on a sickle," I explained.

"You didn't approach her…or like, touch her when you were mad did you?" I gaped at him and narrowed my eyes, my fist clinching.

"How the hell could you even suggest," I growled out, but Jack interrupted me.

"I'm trying to figure out why she's avoiding you. And the only reasons I can think of have just been disproved," he said, waving his hands in front of me in a no offense manner.

"Why the hell would you think that?" I exclaimed, stepping closer to him and glaring at him. Jack had looked away, somewhat ashamed as he let out a soft sigh and whispered.

"Gray…it wouldn't be the first time Claire's been in abusive situation."

_Abusive… When Jack said those words my hair had stood on end. Here in this little town, well you would think that there might be a lot of situations that would leave some woman abused. Outsiders would look at people like Duke and Manna, and think that he abused her. But as far as I knew there was never such a thing so close to home. _

_The way that Claire acted…it didn't just scream 'I've been abused!' But it didn't dispel it either. Things like the first time I met her came flooding back to me. Apprehensive to strangers, or had it been? She hadn't tried to shut the door until I spoke to her. When I met her in the field she didn't crawl away from me until she heard the sound of my voice. _

"I would never hurt her," I muttered out lowly, my hands clinching into fists. Jack seemed to study me for what seemed like forever. He finally nodded, removing his own cap and running a hand through his unmanageable brown tresses.

"I know that Gray. I wouldn't have allowed her to go off with you if I thought that for certain," he seemed to become suddenly distant, and shook his head. "I owe you an apology. I…thought you were a lot like someone we used to know, and that couldn't be further from the truth," I put my hand up to stop him.

"You're entitled to your opinions, and you don't have to apologize for them. Not when you really didn't voice them to me anyway." I turned on my heels and began to leave, stopping when Jack called after me.

"Where are you going?" I took a deep breath and turned to face him, my face more than likely showing the frustration I felt on it.

"I'm going to find out why the hell she lied to you, and why she's avoiding me," I stated in near a shout, not realizing the level of my voice rising with each word that passed through my lips. I narrowed my eyes when Jack shut the door, walking up to me.

"I'm curious myself. So I hope you don't mind if I go and watch," he said quietly and kept walking past me, heading to the beach.

_The walk to the beach was silent, the only sounds besides the chickens and live stock along the way my muttered curses and thoughts. By the time we reached the square, I wasn't angry. I wasn't upset. I was…hurt. I was hurt that she had abandoned me, left me to go spend her time with Kai. That's what it felt like anyway. I didn't even want to go to the beach anymore. I didn't want to CARE if she wanted to be around me or not. But damn it I did. _

_Maybe to much. Or maybe not enough. It was hard to say then. It was still hard to stay._

_If only….well then she wouldn't have been Claire. If she hadn't had given me the choice. Claire was like that, a scale, a balance. She made me normal. I couldn't say at the time if she made me happy or not. But she made me feel normal. Not positive or negative, just balanced. _

"Clarissa Nichole Nelson," Jack's voice rang out as he entered the beach, me following now begrudgingly behind him. I saw Kai and her sitting on a beach towel, and Kai leaned in to whisper something to her. She seemed to pale slightly and stood, clasping her hands in front of herself nervously.

"Jack…" she started, then seemed to think better of it and decided to remain silent. Jack looked at Kai and shook his head.

"I presume you know why I'm here…" he said sternly, and Claire nodded. "Care to explain why you lied to me, about this?" he finally asked, all sternness leaving his voice. He seemed to be somewhat…disappointed.

"I didn't want to interfere." She stated, biting her lip and turning to the direction of the sound of the ocean waves lapping at the shore. "I didn't want to cause more trouble than I already had, and I didn't want…" she trailed off and brought her hand up to her lips, taking a deep shaking breath.

"Oh Goddess Claire don't cry," Jack mumbled, grabbing her shoulder. "No one is mad at you. Everyone would understand your motives if you would just explain them. Don't cry," Jack seemed to be about to panic. He was obviously more afraid of tears than I was, and the fact that tears were welling up in Claire's eyes seemed to be nearly driving Jack to frustrated tears of his own.

Watching them, and seeing her seem so upset, it made me let out a frustrated sigh, and I stepped forward, placing my large hand on her face and guiding her face to look at me. I stared into her wide empty eyes, glistening with tears that she blinked out, the warm drops falling and wetting my fingers. "You didn't want what," I demanded softly, my eyes narrowing on her own. For a moment I forgot that she couldn't see me, that I couldn't convey how I was feeling to her through site, but for some reason it didn't stop me from trying.

"I didn't want you to yell at me again…" she said quietly, eyelids shutting and covering that pale grayish blue color from me.

"You're stupid…" I muttered out, my hand releasing her face and coming to rest on top of her head. She seemed wounded by my words and I shook my head, ruffling her bangs "I never yelled at you to begin with. Not on purpose," I explained softly, forgetting about our audience of her over protective brother and the local seasonal traveler.

"But you," she began and I snapped at her, somewhat angrily.

"I told you I was sorry you silly girl! You don't accept someone's apology if you don't mean it. I don't care if you want to stay mad at me for awhile, don't you ever just accept my apology without meaning it, ever again," I stressed the ever again part by bonking her forehead. Claire seemed to be stunned and brought her hands up in front of her, laying them on my chest and pushing me back lightly.

"Don't do that," she muttered out, bringing her hands to her face to scrub away tears.

"You deserved it. You are supposed to be my friend. Let me tell you something missy. I get frustrated. A lot," I added, my hand coming to pull my hat more over my face as my cheeks glowed. I was embarrassed having to explain myself to her. "I get snappy, I get loud, and I shout. It doesn't mean that I'm mad at you, or that I don't want you around. It means….that I had a bad day…" I trailed off there and rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest in agitation.

"Gray…" she said after a long moment of silence. I looked at her curious form, reaching out and stepping forward, searching for me. She must have thought I left.

"I'm right here. Look…" I said reaching a hand out to grasp hers. "I don't think you're a burden. I don't think that you are a distraction, and I would appreciate it if you would quit avoiding me. I might get mad, and I might yell, but I wouldn't ever hurt you Claire. If you don't believe that…then I'm sorry." I finished, the questions Jack had asked me earlier circling in my head. I stared out towards the ocean, thinking about what he said.

Claire had been abused. Some guy, some poor excuse for a man…a being, had physically harmed her. What had he done, how bad had he hurt her? What exactly did he say, what did he do? I lost myself in thought, a frown tight on my lips.

I became aware, after some time, that a body was pressing against mine. A fragile hand was slowly going upward, feather lightly to grasp my cheek. And for the first time, I leaned into that hand, a genuine smile tugging at the corners of my lips.

"_That's my way of saying you're welcome," I had responded to her. When she told me that was her way of saying thank you. _

_I had so much to thank her for. For having courage, for being my strength, my hope. Things I never got the chance to tell her. Things that I regretted so much not telling her when I had the chance._

We stayed on the beach, way past sunset. Jack and Kai had left, be it Jack had somewhat pulled Kai from the scene. Kai seemed to think we needed a chaperone. We just sat on a towel, bare feet digging into the sand in utter silence. We sat side by side, not touching, not speaking. We just were. The stars had come out some time ago, and I closed my eyes, face tilted up. I felt a softness on my bare arm, now clad in only my t-shirt, my jacket discarded some time ago. I looked down to see her resting her head on my shoulder, the softness tickling my skin her hair moving in the breeze.

"Claire…" I finally said, breaking the sanctity that we had been on for the greater part of the afternoon and most of the evening.

"hmm?" she responded, somewhat tried sounding.

"How long have you been blind?" I finally asked, and saw her eyes become alert as she took her head off my arm, suddenly not as tired as she felt just a second ago. She reached forward, fingers digging into the crunchy white sand, allowing it to sift through them as she finally took a deep breath.

"About six years now…" she said quietly, not volunteering anymore information. I nodded and counted back in my head.

"You were seventeen," I stated, and she nodded her head in conformation. I took a deep breath and turned to stare at her. "What happened?" I asked, and she turned her head away from me.

_Something she did when she lied. She couldn't face you and lie to you._

She turned her head back to me, but remained looking down.

_Something I later realized happened when she was telling a half truth. Withholding part of the truth._

"I have…a small growth in my optic lobe, accompanied by some damage to that area. It's put enough pressure there that it finally impaired my vision. The doctor's say…they could try to remove it, but there isn't a guarantee that I'll make it out of the surgery. So I decided against it." She said and let out a long drawn out sigh. I nodded, then shook my head.

"I see. It's…it's not cancer is it?" I asked, somewhat worriedly. She turned to me immediately, shaking her head.

"Oh no! It's not cancerous. It's just something that sometimes happens when you experience a lot of head trauma…" she trailed off, eyes widening as she looked away from me. I felt my lips tighten into another frown.

"_Head trauma meaning some asshole who claimed to loved her put her head through a few walls, blackened her eyes a few times over four years. Broke a few bones and caused her to end up in the emergency room about five times that I know of." Jack had told me sometime later. He had been ticked off that Claire had down played it like that._

"_Gray…Claire was with this guy who controlled everything she did, and beat her all the time. She was good about hiding the bruises, but sometimes things got way out of hand. Some damage… that's a real nice way of saying that my boyfriend at the time decided he wanted to bash the back of my head against some concrete because I got into college and he didn't." _

_I later found out that…Josh was the reason Claire was blind. Evidently he was some star foot-ball player, a line backer or something. He broke his leg his senior year, and lost his scholarship. Claire had to suffer for receiving an academic one. Claire had to suffer for everything that Josh thought was her fault, which was everything._

_I had listened to the story in horror, and when it was over asked Jack how he could let that go on for four years. Jack had shook his head and looked utterly defeated._

"_I wasn't' around. I was at college. I…I didn't know. I had suspected when I met the guy. Gave me that feeling. But…but she had said I was just being way to overprotective."_

_It's something that I hate to think about even now, with her being gone. I don't want to think about her in the situation, with a guy who wasn't worthy to be in her presence._

_I could easily sit here and say she should have left, that it was her fault. But it wasn't. Fear does things to you, so does love. Mix the two together, and you have no idea what's happening, what you truly feel. All you know is you don't want to hurt. And what is some emotional pain, withdrawal compared to physical torment?_

_She was young to, and she didn't really know what to do. Me being me…I felt that physical pain was much easier to go through than emotional pain. Claire…was just stronger than me._

_And I could say now…that was why I ended up letting her go. _


	8. What is Gold anyway?

**So here we are; the next chapter. Not very many left. I said I would finish this within 15 chapters. There will be questions answered, but not always right away about Claire's past. Right now its hard to do since this is in Gray's POV, but I promise that there will eventually be a powwow to discuss the whys of Claire's past. I'm super busy since I have research papers and what not to write. I don't know when I will update again but hopefully it will be sometime before the end of the month.**

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"_**Gray…what's your favorite color?"**_

_I had shrugged at the question. I never really cared much for such things. I had never thought about it. I pulled at my hat, smiling at the brim and cleared my throat._

"_**Blue, I guess…"**_

_I had realized I was getting better sometime in the middle of the summer. I had been invited by Claire to go shopping with Mary, Jack, and herself. I had said yes, and not for the reason of spying on Mary and Jack. I had agreed because I had wanted to be with Claire._

"I need to get some flour. A lot of flour," Jack told Jeff, glaring at him angrily for being low on stock. Jeff laughed nervously and shook his head.

"You bought all the flour the other day, besides what I have left. It will be Tuesday before more stock comes in," he explained while rubbing a hand over his stomach smoothly.

I let out a sigh and turned my attention to the girls. Mary was examining the craftsmanship of a shipping basket, and Claire was carefully gliding her hands over the table, examining a large rucksack before she moved onto the next item.

"Can you believe that Jeff. Nearly out of flour on a Friday, what am I supposed to use till Wednesday?" Jack grumbled at me, causing me to avert my attention.

"Well if certain farmers wouldn't randomly come in for flour on odd days, we could keep it in stock," an agitated voice came from the back of the supermarket. Jack and Karen always tended to butt heads about silly things. I sighed and shifted through the different bags if seeds disinteresting.

Jack winced and waved meekly. "Hey, Karen." Karen rolled her eyes and walked over to Mary and Claire, a wide grin coming across her face.

"Oh, Claire! How are you? Oh my Goodness! Are you thinking about buying that blue feather?" Karen chattered away and Claire turned in her direction, the item in hand as she ran her fingers lightly over it.

I dropped the bag of seeds I had been holding, my eyes wide as I turned towards Claire. I stepped in her direction hesitantly, but stopped as she spoke to Karen.

"Blue feather?" she repeated the words, some what confused. But then a thoughtful look came over her face.

That's right. Claire and Jack were from the city, they wouldn't know the significance of the blue feather.

"Oh yes. It's a wonderful one too. The blue matches your eyes perfectly, and I'm sure it would remind…"

"Who would want to buy a stupid blue feather?" Jack said loudly, causing Karen to stop and earning himself glares from Karen and Mary.

"I would," they both replied together, crossing their arms over their chest.

"Mary, if you want feathers I can bring you all the chicken feathers you want," Jack said, clearly confused at why his raven haired girlfriend was becoming upset at him. I cleared my throat and side stepped away from him.

I walked over to Claire, who was lost in thought, to get out of the wrath of the two women closing in on Jack. I cleared my throat again and was about to ask Claire if she wanted to go when she jerked her head in my direction, a large grin on her face.

"Gray…do you want me to buy you this feather?" she asked quietly, her eyes squinting shut as her grin grew. My mouth dropped slightly and I began stuttering incoherently, my face turning bright red.

_It had been an innocent question. But even though I knew she didn't understand what she was asking me, my mind went wild. I briefly pictured her in a white gown, and couldn't stop some very non-masculine fantasies from going through my mind._

_Had I known what the next year would bring, I would have accepted her offer. But Goddess help me there were a lot of things I would have done differently._

"Claire…" a quiet voice came from behind her. I looked at the ground embarrassedly as Jeff leaned in whispering in her ear.

"Oh…umm….I…I…never mind," she stammered, her cheeks turning bright red. She clumsily thrust the feather back onto the shelf, refusing to look in my direction. I coughed and placed a hand on her shoulder, offering a weak smile that she couldn't see.

"You want to go to the beach?" I offered, trying to get her to feel comfortable again. Even if it mean me taking her to a place, to a person that made me uncomfortable when it came to her.

"I'm sorry," she blurted out suddenly, burying her reddening face into her hands.

"Oh…well it's alright. You didn't know," I whispered quietly, blushing more myself. I didn't wait for an answer, but I grabbed her wrist, leading her out of the Supermarket and away from Jack's shouts of defense of 'why would any woman want a stupid blue feather?'

_Mary had been upset at him and, surprisingly enough, I hadn't jumped at the chance to comfort her. I hadn't even given her a second thought. It's easy now to say that I was nearly over her by then. Granted I still had my moments where I longed for her to be with me, but they were becoming few and far between._

_When I was with Claire, time often escaped me so easily that it was gone before I even knew it. When those few days went by that we weren't speaking, time had crawled by. It had seemed like weeks since I had seen her. _

_She had become a fixture in my life, something I had grown accustomed to. Something I had become attached too. I hadn't realized it at first, but she had begun to heal me, from the inside out I believe._

I groaned and wiped the sweat off my face, examining the newly crafted blade of the sickle. Happy with the curve and the thickness of the item I dipped the hot metal in the water bucket, smirking at the hissing protest of the water and the rising of the steam vapors.

After a minute I took the sickle head out and handed it to my grandfather, watching with a stoic expression as he examined my work. He turned it several times in his hands, his old arthritic fingers running over the blade. He brought it up on front of his face, old eyes narrowing as he gave a curt nod.

"This is….acceptable," he finally stated. I let out a relieved sigh and gave a half smile. I turned and headed back to my work station to clean it up.

"I haven't seen Claire in awhile. How is she doing?" he asked out of the blue. I froze and narrowed my eyes, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly.

"She's alright. She's been meeting me at the library," I offered, placing my tools in their proper place.

"What has she been doing with her day?" he continued, ever the curious old fart. I tensed and closed my eyes, trying to keep my patience. I had been fine with her being with him as long as I didn't think about it.

"She…has been spending her time at the beach," I muttered out darkly. I took a breath and added a little less venomously "I'm sure she'll be back to hang around here in the fall."

"I see," he said, not asking anymore. I continued to clean, ignoring his presence as I let out a sigh. Suddenly my hand was jerked in the direction of the old man, a large lump of gold placed in my open palm. I narrowed my eyes and looked at him curiously.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" I asked, my eyebrows raised curiously.

"Gold is easily manipulated, easily shaped into something foreign from its original form. My mentor once told me it is the essence of change in its most pure state."

I listened to his words, eyes focusing on the gold ore. It wasn't pure gold, and to work with it, I would have to separate the impurities. That was a time consuming task. I sighed and awaited my instructions, vaguely listening to his explanation of gold. I knew what gold was, I didn't need him to explain it.

"I want you to purify the ore. Once you complete that, melt the pure gold down and into a new ore," Well that was relatively easy- time consuming but easy. "Then I want you to carve the gold into something," he finished and crossed his arms over his chest.

"What?" I asked, clearly confused at his directions.

"Make something from the gold."

"Like what?" I asked, agitatedly. What the hell did he want me to make?

"Whatever you want," he snapped back, his eyebrows furrowing. I sighed and glared at the gold.

"Any suggestions?" I muttered out, clearly at a loss of what he wanted.

"Gold…is a very beautiful and coveted ore. But the wonderful thing about it is that it can be crafted into something of physical form, something that can be felt, if not seen," he offered as he stroked his beard. My eyes widened at his words and he turned away, going back to his desk.

He wanted me to make something…for Claire.

_What could I make for her? I had agonized over it for days, and never really could decide. I finally decided to just carve what I ended up carving when I thought of her. If it turned out crappy it could be melted back down into the ore again._

_It was something I would end up working on from that moment till near the end of fall. Really I worked on it non stop in the summer, trying to keep my mind off of her being around Kai. I had always been a selfish person. I had few friends, and the ones I did have I didn't want to share. _

_Claire tried to bring us together, inviting me to go with her down the Snack Shack. But I refused most of the time. Kai's time with Claire was when I was work. I didn't want his presence impeding on the sparse time that was mine now that he was around. Kai…while being my friend, I saw him now as a rival; and as it turns out rightfully so._

_Call it selfish, but I was happy to see him go at the end of the summer; though I wasn't prepared with how to handle Claire. I couldn't believe she had gotten so attached to him in a few short months._

"I'll miss you Kai!" Claire shouted out with Popuri as the boat left the pier. The traveler gave them a beaming grin, blowing each of them a kiss. I rolled my eyes at the affectionate gesture, grateful that Claire hadn't been able to see that. Kai was so cheesy. Rick and I both stood in apparent relief at the departure of Kai, both of us standing a little behind our wards.

I had been prepared for the crocodile tears from Popuri. Not that her pain at Kai leaving wasn't real. But she did cry in public fairly often, which had left me somewhat immune to her hysterics. But I hadn't been prepared for the tears that left Claire.

She stood at the edge of the pier, wiping her eyes furiously as Popuri openly bawled. I felt uneasiness growing in me and took a deep breath, reaching into my pocket pulling out a handkerchief. I grabbed Claire's hand and pressed the somewhat dingy material into her hand. It wasn't dirty, but it hadn't been white in months. No amount of bleach could get the stains out of it.

I jumped slightly when she suddenly hugged me, my face turning a bright red. I looked over at an equally exasperated Rick, rubbing his temple with one hand and patting Popuri's head with the other. I mimicked his gesture, clearing my throat and forcing out a comforting phrase.

"There there, it's going to be…alright," I began, sparing a glance down and the teary eyed blond and feeling my nervousness rise. I hated crying women. I hated them. I looked at Rick for help, but he obviously had believed the crying session should be over.

"Popuri, stop crying right now. He leaves every summer and you know that. He's not worth crying over, and you're being a baby," he said sternly. Popuri puffed up her cheeks and glared at him.

"Gawd Rick you are so heartless!" she wailed and I let out an oomph when she tackled me, her arms latching around my waist as she cried into my jacket. I looked at Rick, utterly helpless as the two women cried on me.

Rick rolled his eyes and adjusted his glasses before catching my eyes. He chuckled and shook his head, taking both of his hands and patting the air. I closed my eyes and let my large shaking hands pat both of their heads again.

"There…there…" I muttered out through gritted teeth, glaring at Rick and jerking my head in Popuri's direction, in a silent plea for him to get her off from me. I could only badly handle one crying woman at a time, thank you very much.

_Claire seemed to be upset for a day or so, but then that ever familiar smile made its way back to her face. I was glad to see it back, and glad that she was getting over Kai's departure so quickly. His absence allowed more time for me to spend with her, and I thanked the Goddess for that. _

_Everyday that passed made me need her more and more. I wanted her to be waiting for me when I got off from work. I wanted her to smile and tell me to cheer up when I had a bad day. I just wanted her…to myself. I wanted to be her only friend._

_Maybe that's what ended up pushing her away. I was so selfish…I knew it and so did she. But the one time…the one damn time I tried to not be selfish I ended up pushing her away. _

_I hated myself for it each and every day._


	9. Lost in the Darkness

**I finally got an update. Be it short- its still here. I'll update when angst hits me again. Hope those still following aren't horribly disappointed.**

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I didn't understand exactly why I was here in this mine, digging up random ores and gems and tossing them aside. I still hadn't found what I looking for. But I knew that if I kept this up, I would find it, or I would damn sure die trying.

I grunted as I heaved the hammer up high, letting it land on the rock with an ear splitting crack that forced the rock to give way. I looked at the contents and sighed, tossing the small ruby to the side and rubbing my temple.

"How damn far do I have to go in this thing to find a sapphire?" I muttered to myself, carefully making my way to the stairs that descended to the next floor. I took off my hat, wiping my sweaty forehead with my jacket sleeve as I descended. I had to find that sapphire, so I could finish that damn charm.

_I had broken the gold ore in half, and had used the first part to make a chain. It had taken a damn long time to make it the right thickness without it being to thin and breaking. Delicate things like this were not my best work. But I had eventually given in and asked for Grandpa's help on the chain, and he had grudgingly shown me a way to make a chain that was a hell of lot easier than what I had been trying._

_I still hadn't finished the charm completely, but I already had an image in my mind of what it would look like when it was finished. And I wanted to set a sapphire in it to complete it. I wanted to leave a part of myself in that gift, and that sapphire would be it._

I came out of the mine, defeated and with no sapphire. I would have to try again another day. I knew my limits, and no one would find me if I passed out inside of this mine. I was usually the poor sucker who found passed out novice miners like Jack.

It was amazing that time seemed to crawl in the mine, and I looked at my old watch to see that it was just one. I sighed out and headed down the trail and took the short cut through Jack's property.

In the middle of the field I caught a glimmer of golden hair, the owner of it lying in a large pile of leaves. Jack was walking up to it, a mischievous smile on his face as he hurled his bundle of leaves at the pile. They scattered in the wind, fluttering down on the girl as she laughed.

Claire's laugh was a sound I would never forget. It wasn't loud and over powering. It was soft and gentle, and when you heard it you couldn't stop yourself from smiling. The cool autumn wind blew, stirring up a string of brown dead leaves and forcing them to dance around me. I felt Jack's gaze on me and he waved in my direction.

"Oye Gray! You're a little late today," he called out, jerking his thumb in Claire's direction. "She's been waiting on you! Says she can't wait for you to finish that story with her. Claims you have a captivating reading voice." he continued, smirking at me and turning to help a struggling Claire to her feet.

I blushed at Jack's playful jabs, grabbing the brim of my hat and pulling it down to hide my embarrassed face. I had always found in moments like this that the best thing to do was to remain silent.

With Kai gone and no longer here to monopolize Claire, I had taken up his place. It wasn't necessarily that I felt pity for her, but more along the lines of I didn't want her to seem so lonely. I didn't want to see myself in her like that.

I had come to see Claire as someone that ought to always be smiling. To me at the moment, the world was only right when she had that soft content smile on her pink lips. And I would try to do everything I could to make sure that smile stayed on her face. Goddess only knows that she had already suffered more than her fair share of hardships in life.

"No need to give me the silent treatment Gray," Jack began, faking offense to my silence. I glared at the man that only a season or so ago I had truly loathed and shook my head. It was amazing how I could be around him like this, like a buddy. If someone had told me this would be the way things would turn out in the winter, I would have told them they were sniffing too much kerosene.

_We had been getting along begrudgingly for the sake of two important people in both of our lives. And that had grown into a sort of twisted form of friendship. The thing with Jack and I was that we had a lot more in common than I had realized._

_We both cared about Claire._

_We both were over protective of her._

_We both didn't want to see her hurt._

_And in the end…we both didn't think I was good enough for her._

_Fall was apparently Claire's favorite time of the year. She loved the crisp chilly wind, and the leaves. And once upon a time she had loved the autumn colors._

"Maple leaves are the prettiest ones. They're so big, like hands…and they have such pretty colors in them. Red, yellow, green, orange. They're beautiful," Claire chattered on as we walked up the path to Mother's Hill together.

"I think that all fall leaves are beautiful," Mary commented thoughtfully over her shoulder. Jack and Mary were walking in front of us, Mary carrying a large wicker picnic basket full of dumplings for the festival.

I had invited Claire to the Moon Viewing Festival. Granted she couldn't see anything, and I had felt like a complete idiot after I had managed to stammer the invitation out to her. But after I had mentioned thinking about asking her the raven haired librarian had insisted that I do so.

"_She would enjoy your company more than staying at home alone."_

Jack was carrying some blankets and other 'necessities' up the mountain, though not without his fair share of complaints.

"Why do we need to bring all this stuff? It's only for a few hours," he muttered under his breath, shifting his load of blankets to get a better grip.

"You complain now Mr. Nelson, but when the moon comes up later and it's a nice chilly forty degrees you'll be glad I came prepared," Mary said bluntly, pushing her glasses up her nose.

"Yeah…well I better be," he huffed out, wobbling some as we rounded a corner. Mary pulled him back t her and then sighed, looking over her shoulder at Claire somewhat worriedly.

"Claire, are you sure that jacket is warm enough for you?" Claire nodded her head, grinning even wider in the direction in front of us.

"I'm fine. We have blankets…so I'm sure if I get cold I can take cover under one."

For the most part the hike up the mountain was silent after that, with the exception of a few muttered words, some rather colorful, from Jack. We approached the bridge that went of the waterfall, the loud thundering of the falling water somewhat deafening. I looked worriedly at the blond next to me, grabbing her wrist and pulling her in front of me before she went on it.

"It's…a narrow bridge, and we can't walk over it next to each other. And it is flimsy. I don't trust it," I said quietly in her ear. Mary went across it without batting an eyelash, having crossed it every Monday since she had moved to Mineral Town. Jack hesitantly followed, opting to make two trips so he didn't drop anything below.

I stepped forward, pushing Claire gently in front of me, hands resting on her small slim shoulders as she stepped in front of me, taking my queue to walk.

Mary busied herself with lying out two small blankets, gesturing for Jack to sit on one and placing another folded up blanket on top of it. She placed another blanket a few feet away, and the folded up blanket as well, pointing to me and then to the blanket silently.

I scratched the back of my neck nervously and sighed as the raven haired woman took to lying out the food she had brought, placing everything out so it could be easily reached. I looked to the blond, who was staring in the direction of the sun with vacant eyes.

"It's sunset," she said quietly, holding her hand out in front of her. I nodded, remaining silently as I watched her hand turn slowly, being warmed by the remaining rays of sunlight. I finally let out a sigh, taking her tiny hand with my own and leading her to the blanket designated for us. I helped her sit, and then took my place next to her, staring at the dying brownish grass in front of us awkwardly.

What I liked about Claire was she knew that sometimes I couldn't find words to say, and she didn't let it bother her. She would sit in silence with me for a long time if I was having one of those moments. It was something about her I appreciated, even if I never told her. I think she knew…

_At least I hope she knew…_

Romantic festivals had never been something I was comfortable with, and when I didn't know how exactly I felt about my date, well it made it just that much more awkward. But I did know I would rather be sitting next to her under a clear autumn sky, in the chilling breeze, than have her home alone.

_Claire had never deserved what happened to her._

_She didn't deserve to be punished every day of her life._

_She deserved to be loved, unconditionally. _

I felt the girl next to me, trembling slightly as she let out a small sigh. I looked at her, studying her. She must be bored, sitting up here, unable to actually look at the moon, and to top that off she was probably freezing. I narrowed my eyes and watched her hands pull at the blanket that lay across both our legs, pulling it up slightly.

She was trying not to uncover me, or take too much of the blanket. I chewed on the inside in my cheek and finally let out a low sigh, moving my hands to my zipper and pulling it down. Before I could second guess myself I shrugged the jacket off and leaned over to place it around Claire's shoulders.

She looked somewhat silly, sitting there with a jacket at least three times to big, swallowing her up as she clumsily tried to slip her small arms into the sleeves. She had averted her eyes down as she pulled the jacket closed around her, before turning her head in my direction.

"Thank you," she whispered and I nodded my head, before rolling my eyes and mumbling out lowly.

"It's no problem…I was kind of hot anyway," I added, scratching the back of my neck and looking up at the moon. I chanced a glance a few feet over to Mary and Jack, seeing them snuggling under the blanket. I looked back to Claire and up at the moon, and sighed. "Uhh…the moon is really bright tonight," I offered quietly, scooting closer so the nearby couple wouldn't hear. "The moonlight is nice...I can see you pretty good." Claire nodded her head, turning more towards me and licking her lips.

"Is it yellow or white?"

"Yellow tonight. A beautiful Harvest Moon…a golden color," I whispered, opting to lean backwards, resting my hands behind my head as I watched the sky. "There aren't any clouds either."

Claire's hand slowly came out, searching for me, realizing the direction of my voice had changed. Her small fingers found my chest and she moved some, and I heard the zipping of my jacket before she moved back to lie down as well.

"I like clouds…at night. I used to think they were the prettiest thing…watching them pass by over a moonlit sky," she whispered back, and I turned my head to her.

She had her eyes closed, and I suppose it was in a way her way of seeing. Because…everything that Claire saw was in her memory. She didn't know anything but her past…

_She never knew what I looked liked, how I looked at her. She had no way of knowing. The way I looked at Claire…couldn't be explained. I didn't have the words…_

_I never had the words…_

I turned my head back, my eyes watching the clouds distantly. Claire would never see new things, new people. She wouldn't be able to do a lot. But it didn't make her less of a person. Claire was more of a person than I was.

She was smart, and as independent as she could be considering. She was friendly and likable…maybe to likeable. Kai had certainly taken a liking to her this past summer, and I had even been asked to read a letter to her that he wrote.

Claire made the world brighter to me. It was less lonely, less miserable. And I had been locked up in my own woes for so long, before I even met her, before I even fell for Mary, that it was hard for me to want to get closer to that light. I was afraid to see just how deformed I had become from my own bitter emotions…

I stiffened some as I felt Claire's body shift towards mine, her small hand resting over my chest and face snuggling against my shoulder, and a soft sigh reaching my ears. I turned slowly to her, only to find her eyes shut, her lips parted slightly as she breathed deeply. She'd fallen asleep…

_It had amazed me really, knowing that the woman had so much trust in me. She never questioned me when I gave her vague instructions or commands. She followed me…_

_Blindly. Without question._

_It had been so stupid of me to not see it before. Because I had been the one that was truly blind._

_I didn't ever see the way she looked when she was around me. I wouldn't let myself see it. Because I would never be any good for her. All I would ultimately do is bring her pain she didn't need, pain she shouldn't have to go through._

_At the time I had thought I would never love anyone the way I had loved Mary. I would never have that amount of emotion for another person._

_I would have so much more. _

_I was just too stupid to acknowledge it._


	10. Sapphire Key

**Well this is comming to the climax within the next two or three chapters isn't it? No more than five left at that. Plus Epilogue. Huzzah for a long fic comming to an end. Thanks for reviews, and for reading. This chapter...is well...read it and you tell me. I was unhappy with it, but couldn't become any happier with it. Let me know if I should take it off and rewrite it.**

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"_**I think you're amazing Gray…"**_

_I don't remember how many times I heard her say it. How many times I saw that large smile that followed the phrase. Every time I was feeling down, every time I belittled myself, and every time I felt embarrassed._

_But the first time I heard it, really heard it I mean- when I was sure she meant it…_

_Of course I'm sure she meant it all the other times as well. I'm sure she did, because that was just the type of person Claire was. She wouldn't say something for the sake of making me feel better. She truly thought I was amazing._

_But the first time I heard it had been in the late Autumn. On her birthday…_

The farm house that Jack and Claire resided in was crowded, filled with friends of the siblings and small party favors. Mary's mother had sent a small floral arrangement with a happy birthday balloon tied to the vase. Rick and Popuri had come over, a basket of eggs with a bow in tow. It was predictable of course but still thoughtful. May was there, and she had brought one of the puppies Hannah had recently had. It was asleep in a box, existence unknown by the birthday girl. Stu and Elli had brought a tin of cookies, though I'm sure Stu's random disappearances had to do with him sneaking some of those cookies out.

Claire was smiling at all the bustle and hustle around her, her head turning in the direction of louder sounds. She looked somewhat silly, sitting there with May at the table, both wearing pointy birthday hats at May's insistence. Jack was sitting at the table as well, somewhat distraught and covered in flour from when he had been trying to make a cake, while Stu kept blowing the party whistle in his ear, laughing when the paper rolled out and hit Jack's ear.

Ann and Mary had banished Jack from the kitchen for reasons that were not shared. Something about an entire bag of sugar had been heard being shouted by Ann early in the evening, and I presumed that was what it was.

Grandpa had found me a jewelry box, and I had crudely wrapped it with some bright pink paper Ann gave me. It was stuffed in my jacket pocket, as I was somewhat embarrassed by it. I was pretty sure there was more tape than wrapping paper on it, and compared to all the other presents mine was somewhat lacking in visual beauty.

The party was being delayed do to the fact that it lacked a proper cake. Ann and Mary had come to the rescue, but evidently you cant just slop some sugary icing on the cake and call it done. Evidently there is a cooling process…otherwise the icing just melts and drips down the cake. So while we had to wait the 'at least an hour' the cake had to cool, we decided to do the party backwards and open presents first.

Jack sat next to Claire, handing her the gifts and leaning over after she freed them from wrapping paper, whispering in her ear lowly so no one could hear. Mary had gotten her books on tape, which she seemed enthralled about. Ellen had sent a hand knitted pink pair of gloves, a hat, and matching scarf. The wool had been provided by Barley.

"This gift is from little May," Jack said with a chuckle, picking up the half asleep puppy and placing it in Claire's hands. She furrowed her eyebrows as she took it, a confused look coming over her face.

"It's warm…" she commented, her eyes shutting as she tried to figure it out. She smiled gently and hummed. "It's soft too…" she added, squeezing the pup a little tighter. The puppy seemed to wake up, turning its head curiously up at the person that held him. Then he clumsily jumped up, paws resting on her chest as it licked at her chin.

Claire let out a small yelp, which in turn caused the puppy to bark in response. She blinked at the spot in front of her before she started laughing, carefully holding the puppy close.

"Thank you so much May. I love it…" she whispered, hand coming up to rub the puppy's head. May beamed brightly at Claire, toying with her left pigtail as she blushed.

"I'm glad. I read in the library…that the dog can help you," she trailed off and looked at a sulking Stu, who was muttering about wanting his own puppy.

Claire smiled at the little girls thoughtful words, and held the wiggling puppy closer to her. She leaned over closer to Jack who was whispering somewhat frantically in her ear, and Claire bit her bottom lip, obviously trying not to laugh at her brother. She shook her head and said something lowly for him to hear only.

Jack patted her shoulder and took the puppy, sticking it in the bedroom as he walked into the kitchen, probably checking on Ann and her slowly cooling cake. There was some muttered cursing and bickering before he came back out, frustration clear on his face.

"Well it seems that we still have to wait thirty minutes for cake. So we can socialize…walk around outside, whatever you want to do until then."

The room began to buzz with chatter, everyone trying to occupy themselves and take their minds off the cooking cake. Stu and May went to the TV and began to watch something. I stood up silently from my chair, hand shoved deep in my jacket pocket as I clung tightly to the small box.

Jack saw me and raised an eyebrow before leaning down to Claire and whispering something. She nodded and carefully stood up. She looked apprehensive and I turned my head to the side curiously before is dawned on me…that she couldn't maneuver through the crowded house. I squeezed in between the wall and the table, hearing chairs scratch against the wood floor as the occupants scooted in for me.

When I reached Claire, I took her hand and tugged her in the direction to the door. But Jack caught my eye and gestured to the bedroom. I felt my face turning red but understood it would be easier than leading the woman back around the table. It was a tight fit after all. I waved at Jack in appreciation, but the backwards hat wearing man simply pointed at a non existent watch on his wrist and held up five fingers.

I guess he was still a protective older brother.

So I lead her to the _other _room.

_I had never been so scared to be alone with someone in my life. I didn't know if she would like what I made her, let alone if she would even be able to get the wrapping paper off from it. And the feeling that a homicidal older brother would walk through the door at any moment didn't help my nerves. I wasn't scared of Jack, but he could be a little crazy at times._

_But in all honesty it was one of the most terrifying moments in my life. Because I had put my heart and soul into this gift…_

_If she rejected it... she rejected me._

I begrudgingly pulled out the box with one hand, the other taking her hand I was still holding and turning it palm up. I pushed it somewhat forcefully in her hand, my face heating up the entire time to the point that my hair was pale in comparison.

"I...uh…I got you…that. For…you.." I muttered out all tongue tied, my eyes sealing shut and fists clenching at my wonderful ability to articulate. Claire didn't say anything, but after a moment there was the sound of a frustrated sigh and a small ripping sound.

"Ah…sorry. It's hard to get into," she whispered quietly as she was able to tear some of the tape with her fingernail. She opened it with great difficulty, sliding the top of the box off and clumsily placing it under the bottom part. "I'm sure…that is beautiful," she added with a thoughtful smile.

I didn't say anything as she took her fingers to the gold pendent, softly brushing the tips over the shape and frowning. I rubbed the back of my neck nervously and gave her a nervous smile that she couldn't see.

"It's a charm," I whispered, my large fingers coming to take the delicate necklace out of the box. "Grandpa helped with the chain…I couldn't get mine to keep from breaking…" I explained softly, taking the box and tossing it carelessly over to the bed as I dangled the charm in front of her. "I've been working on it since the summer…and its not the greatest thing in the world," I began to ramble, my eyes suddenly finding the floor very interesting. Claire's small hand rested on mine as she smiled up at me, her eyes shut.

"It's amazing Gray," she assured me, and I frowned at her comment.

"You don't even know what it is," I muttered dejectedly. She narrowed her eyes at my comment and let her fingers trail down to the charm again. After several moments of silence she sighed and gave an unsure smile.

"I think it's a funny shaped key," she offered, her face blushing as she turned her head. "But I'm not sure." I blinked down at her embarrassed posture and couldn't stop the adoring smile that came over my face.

_The woman had always been too adorable for her own good. To innocent and kind…_

I let out a relieved chuckle and clumsily undid the clasp, stepping closer to her and trying to put it on her. My fingers were large and made it hard to hold the clasp open. I finally got it after a few minutes of struggling. I looked down at the thin golden chain that rested over her blond hair and without thinking let my hands slide around and under it at the back of her neck, pulling it up and over the chain so it rested in its appropriate place.

I pulled back and examined my work, eyes resting on the sapphire set in the bow of the key, sparkling at me knowingly. Claire's small fingers came up and slid over the smooth gold key, her eyes shut and a small smile playing on her lips.

"There…is a sapphire," I offered when her finger slid over the stone.

_The same shade of blue as my eyes. Dark blue…because I would always watch over her…_

_At least that was what I had promised myself._

_I was bad about making promises I couldn't keep._

"I love it Gray. It's beautiful. And you're amazing," she murmured, closing the distance in between us and wrapping her slender arms around my waist. I stiffened some at the unexpected contact, but immediately relaxed as I brought both my arms around her shoulders, closing my eyes and simply enjoying the contact between us.

_I had come to care for this woman so deeply so quickly that I was already in to deep before I realized it._

I opened my eyes at the sound of growling, and looked down between us. There was a little pile of brown fur, milk teeth bared at me as it wiggled in between Claire and myself. I stepped back, watching the pup with narrowed eyes.

"Well…at least he's protective of you," I muttered out, scratching the back of my head and not quite sure what else to do. Claire simply shook her head and squatted. She didn't have to search for the puppy as it had jumped on her as soon as she was low enough.

"I think he's just jealous," she said with a giggle, ruffling the pups ears and then turning, placing it on the bed when she reached it.

_Jealous…jealous would take on a whole new meaning to me in a little over two seasons. _

_Because over the winter and the spring…over the next two seasons and before the summer…Claire was with me. Where she should have stayed._

_There were a few shinning moments that I would never forget. And one giant screw up I would have to live with for the rest of my life. _

_It's hard to stay in line…to write in the order it happened. Because what bothers me the most is how it ended. But to understand how it ended, the whole story must be told._

_It doesn't make it better…but I want it to be clear…that I didn't mean for it to end like this. But I had been too late._

_Fifteen minutes…fifteen damn minutes could have changed the ending. _


	11. White Snow

**OMG two updates in less than a week?! Wow I surprised myself. Hope you guys like it. Only two more chapters and an epilogue to go!**

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_Perhaps the feelings that we experience when we are in love represent a normal state. Being in love shows a person who he should be. –AntonChekhov_

_Over the course of my life I had never really liked the person I was, especially when I arrived in Mineral Town. I had always felt like I was a burden, like I didn't belong. I felt as if I was an outcast, and had thought it would be better for me to return to the city._

_But I had no place else to go. All I had was my miserable grandfather, and each day of living hell that I lived through. Even when I had felt so strong for Mary, I didn't like who I was. I had always thought that if we were together that she would change that. But with Claire I had no desire to change. I was fine being myself._

_And yet I had changed. Those who were closest to me realized it. Grandpa knew, Mary knew, and even Jack. The only ones that remained oblivious were Claire and I. Maybe because it was something that had happened gradually over time, maybe I didn't recognize it because it had been a long process, or perhaps I had just not wanted to admit it._

_But with Claire…I liked the person I was. I never thought ill of myself when she was around. I simply was. _

_Claire didn't mind if I was fitly from work, and she didn't mind my roughness or my short temper. And the more I was around her, the stronger I felt for her…the more I became a better person. I had patience where there had once been irritation. I had the ability to be gentle where I was once rough, and where there had once been anger and resentment filling me, I was rather happy with things the way they were._

_Claire had that effect on people._

Freezing cold. Certain parts of my anatomy had retreated inside of me cold. And here I was hiking up this damn mountain. In the freezing cold. That I hated by the way. And why?

"You didn't really have to do this you know," her soft voice floated through my cold ears and I looked at the blond woman, squeezing her hand slightly and continuing to plow through the snow and up the mountain.

"I wanted to," I finally responded after a long pregnant silence. I could sit here and complain all I wanted. But the reason I was doing this was because I wanted to. For her.

I let out a relived sigh when we crested the area by the lake, my breath crystallizing in a small warm puff for a second. I dropped the bag in front of the large tree stump by the entrance of the lake, causing Claire to jump as the snow crunched beneath it. I pulled her towards the tree stump, pushing her back into it and causing her to sit.

"Jack said…that before…well he said that you really liked the winter," I began as I unzipped the bag, pulling out a pair of pink shoes. Well they were actually ice-skates that Jack had fished out of Claire's belongings without her knowing. "And I wanted to bring you up here to do this…and I would…well I would…you know do it with you if I knew how. But I don't…" I rambled on, placing the skates in her lap and putting her hands on them so she didn't end up slicing her hands on the blade or something.

They looked fairly sharp, and I wasn't familiar with this particular hobby. But the moment she moved her fingers down and felt the steel beneath them, her face lit up. And in that moment the trek up the mountain didn't seem like that big of an inconvenience.

_It was ironic that a year ago I was a little further up the mountain and heart broken. And yet there I was a year to the day later, and I couldn't have been happier. _

"Gray…" she began, her face flushing a light pink to mach her tiny scarf she'd gotten for her birthday. Jack had sent away for some matching earmuffs that she had worn since the first snowflake had fallen. I had personally never cared for pink, but on Claire…well it was closely becoming my second favorite color. "Thank you," she whispered, pulling off her snow boots and putting on the skates. She had a gentle smile on her face as she laced up the straps, and when she was done she sat patiently on the stump.

"Ah…it's…it's no problem," I mumbled out, pulling my hat down over my face. Things like that, how softly she spoke to me…it did something to me.

_Being with Claire, and my feelings for her. The fact that I fell in love with her. They didn't happen instantly. It was something that happened over time. And maybe it was because of that that I felt unsure. It was because there wasn't this instant feeling of love that I was confusing affection with friendship. Not to mention I had never been the brightest crayon in the box anyway._

I lead the woman out onto the frozen lake, giving her a reassuring smile. But I knew it was more for me than it was for her. She very well couldn't see it after all. But to me…I was reassuring myself. I didn't want to hurt her, I didn't want her to be hurt because of my negligence.

_I didn't mean to._

_Ever._

_I never wanted it to happen…_

I smiled at the feeling of the soft wool glove against my calloused skin, our fingers cupping as I walked backwards, pulling her to me. She was giggling at her own clumsiness, wobbling back and forth. But I wouldn't let her fall. And she knew that. Because Claire trusted me.

_To bad I hadn't trusted myself._

Eventually she got the hang of it again, and she skated perfectly in my opinion. But I kept a hold of her hand, her glove covered fingers held securely in between my frozen digits. And I walked next to her, sometimes jogging as she sped up. I didn't want to let her go. Because the truth was I was afraid she would get hurt.

_I wanted to protect her. And she let me. Even when she didn't need it._

It had been a while, long enough for my skin to lose feeling when the snow began to fall. I stopped, causing Claire to jerk back and her skates to make an abrasive scrapping sound on the ice as she tumbled into me.

I wrapped one arm around her waist to secure her, my eyes narrowed on the falling snow. It was a lot…and I knew that we wouldn't make it down the mountain if it continued or Goddess forbid snowed harder.

"Gray what is it?" she whispered, her small hands squeezing my forarm around her waist. I looked down at her, her face furrowed in slight confusion.

"The weather just changed," I said quietly, looking back to the large bag by the tree stump. "You need to take those off. I'm afraid the fun is over," I muttered, turning her in the direction and holding her hand as I walked over towards the bag,

"Will it be okay to walk back in the snow?" she asked, squeezing my hand tightly as she turned her head in my direction. I frowned at her worried expression and chewed on the inside of my cheek.

"We're not walking back…we're going to have to take shelter in the mines," I said firmly, trying my best to sound sure of the plan and not cause her to fret. And for the most part I knew the winter mine was safe. I could build a small fire that wouldn't cause a lot of smoke, and I had a blanket in the bag. I had spent my share of nights in this mine over the last few years.

But I didn't know if Claire would be alright. She was so small, and I didn't imagine that she generated that much body heat. But I would do my best to protect her.

"It's fine Gray," she finally said as I sat her down on the stump. She didn't hesitate as she began to unlace her skates. "I trust you to do what is best for our safety," she added thoughtfully as the skates hit the snow.

I blinked at her a moment as I grabbed her snow boots from the bag and replaced them with her ice-skates. I placed the boots in front of her and couldn't help but to grin up at her.

"That…that means a lot to me. That you…believe in me to make the right decisions."

_And she always did. And if I had trouble, she would help me. She would decide for me. And every time but once…well she had only been wrong once._

"Are you sure you're warm enough? I can give you my jacket if you're cold," I said worriedly, looking at the petite woman curled up on the cold ground and resting against my chest. She shook her head and just moved more against me, burying her head under the blanket. I hadn't been able to build a fire. All the wood around the lake was just to wet to light.

"You're body heat is enough," she murmured out, though it was hard to believe her since she was shivering like crazy. I sighed and shook my head, moving and leaning my back against the wall. It would be uncomfortable for me, but if I didn't do it then the woman might freeze to death.

"Claire come here," I said sternly, grabbing her wrist and pulling her in my direction. I pulled her in between my legs, were her back rested against my chest. Then I grabbed the large blanket and wrapped it around us. I rested my chin on the top of her head and sighed again. "Better?" I murmured out, and I felt her nod some.

"Y-yeah. It's better…" she managed out through slightly chattering teeth.

With in twenty minutes Claire had stopped shaking and was asleep. I stayed awake most of the night, listening to the howling wind of the snow storm. I should have been scared, or worried for myself. But the only thing on my mind was keeping her safe. Keeping her warm, and keeping her alive.

All in all…it was the most terrifying night of my life. And at some point I had shifted and removed my jacket to put it around her as well. Because I didn't want her to suffer at all.

_I wasn't sure exactly when sleep claimed me that night, but I didn't wake up until I felt her small warm body leave mine. I had opened my eyes to see Jack clinging to her, mumbling thanks to the Goddess that she was fine. And I had wearily met his gaze over her shoulder, and I couldn't help it. _

_I had smiled at him. A reassuring smile. And he had returned it. Because he and I both knew something in that moment. _

_I would never let anything happen to her if I could help it._

_Because I loved her._

…_and I never wanted what I had with her to end. But I was stupid. I didn't know at the time- at the end…what I wanted. And Claire…Claire had decided for me. She thought she knew what I would want the most. _

_But she was wrong._

_Because more than anything in this world…_

_I wanted her._

_Those moments with Claire…those memories that are so important to me now are fading, and the blur into one long dream. But I want to cling to them and not let them go. And because of that…I never want to wake up._


	12. Dawning Spring

**So here it is, and I hope it was worth the wait. The next chapter shouldn't take so long. I hope you guys like this.**

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_Spring is always a time for renewal, a fresh start. It was the time that mother nature healed the earth from what had plagued it in the winter, turning the dull lifeless landscape beautiful and vibrant. The time for a new year, a new life. _

_It hadn't been that long ago it seemed that I had found Claire stumbling about in Jack's field. The end of the Spring season would make a whole year ago. _

"Are you sure you want to take me?" she finally said, her voice nearly a whisper as she continued to face straight ahead. I was at the moment somewhat relieved she couldn't seem my flushed face, sure that it was rivaling my hair for the brighter shade of red at the moment.

"If I didn't want to, I wouldn't have asked you," I muttered, twisting my hat nervously in my hands before returning it to my head. I looked to the ground, kicking the back of my heel downward and into the dirt. "If you don't want to go with me I understand…I just thought it would be better than you having to be with your brother. And you know…we could…do something after, just the two of us," I muttered lowly, my tongue becoming thick and heavy with every syllable that left my mouth.

I heard a soft giggle come from the woman next to me and she stopped, her small hand resting lazily over her chest as her nose wrinkled up and her eyes squinted from trying to hold back her laughter, which of course only made me turn a deeper shade of red.

"Why Mr. Smith…are you asking me on a legitimate date?" she asked teasingly, her hand reaching out to brush clumsily over mine before intertwining our fingers.

"Well…that is…I…" I began, but took a deep breath and shook my head to clear it. "What I mean is…you know…if the idea isn't too unappealing to you. I know I'm not the nicest guy out there, or the best looking," I said quietly, but stopped when she gripped my hand tightly, tugging my arm towards her.

"Gray, I know that you tend to forget this a lot for some reason, but I've no idea what you look like," she snorted, a hint of teasing in her voice. Her smile faltered some as she pushed some of her hair behind her ear. "Though I would love the chance to look at you one day…"

"Please don't start that again," I said firmly, refusing to even listen. This wasn't the first time she had brought this up recently.

_Claire and I had grown rather close over the rest of the winter, and while it wasn't official, we had been for lack of a better term a couple. But…the last several weeks she had been bringing up a surgery._

_She wanted to be able to see._

_But Goddess help me I refused to listen to her. Because…ironically I didn't want to lose her._

_A fifty percent success rate wasn't good enough for me to allow someone to just…cut into her skull to remove pressure. Not when there was a fifty percent chance she could not come off that operating table, or be a vegetable the rest of her life._

"Alright," she mumbled, her head resting lazily on my shoulder. I smiled some and slipped my arm around her waist as we made our way to the library. "I'll go to the Goddess Festival with you, and, if I don't find the idea too unappealing, we might do something after…just the two of us."

"Then it's a date," I said quietly, squeezing her side affectionately and smirking when she jumped, her hands smacking at mine.

"Goddess don't do that! You know I'm ticklish," she hissed out, opting to sling her elbow in my direction. I chuckled some at that, until I saw Manna leaving the winery, immediately obtaining a straight face and stepping away from the woman. I wasn't one for public displays of affection, and I certainly didn't need my grandfather teasing me more about Claire than he already did. What our relationship consisted of was our business, and not the towns. And I was trying damn hard to keep it that way.

_I had never bothered to explain to Claire that is wasn't because I didn't want to be with her, that I wasn't ashamed of being with her that way. I had just always thought she had understood. Maybe she did, maybe she didn't. I never got the chance to ask her if she did._

"Oh, its you," Jack said, shaking his head as he sat on his shipping bin, arms crossed over his chest as he titled his head up and looked at the sky. "Evidently the girls don't know what ten sharp means." I shrugged some and opted to lean against the edge of the house, hands in my pockets.

"You think we should have dressed nicer than usual?" I asked quietly, looking over the field and smiling at the little section fenced off for Claire. She had planted some strawberries and some turnips this year.

"There isn't much point in it if you ask me. I believe Mary is changing right after the dance. The only reason they're even dressing up is because they have to for the festival…" Jack trailed off, kicking the shipping bin impatiently.

"Stop abusing the shipping bin," Mary's voice called harshly from the doorway, pulling at the skirt of her dress as if it wasn't long enough, that at the shortest bit only grazed her ankles. I couldn't help but smile when she reached up to fix her glasses out of habit, only to realize they were absent. She blushed and pushed a stray lock of her dark hair behind her ear. It was an action that made that dull throb in my heart a little more noticeable. I had always found her elegant and ever the classical lady. It had been something that drew me to her I believe, that illusion of romantic splendor and the princess in her tower.

_But even it was long ago that I had given up on that idea, there were still times, even today that I had moments when I wondered 'what if.'_

"Claire…go put on a jacket or something," Jack hissed, brining my attention to the blond now occupying the doorway. I felt my face flush at the site of her, in the same dress as Mary, but still…

I nearly agreed with Jack that it seemed to revealing on her. It exposed her delicate shoulders, her slender neck, and her fragile collar bone. I dare say it even displayed a teasing display of cleavage before the scoop neck dress curved over her and covered the rest of her.

"She's fine," Mary chided, taking Jack offered arm and shaking her head as his scowl. "Let's go before we're later than we already are," she added, taking a step forward and pulling Jack along with her.

"We're already late. And do tell darling whose fault is that," Jack muttered hotly under his breath, and the couple kept going, playfully bickering at whose fault it really was that they were late.

"You look…" I began, finding that I couldn't pull the correct word from my vocabulary, and blushing brighter with each passing second. "Gorgeous," I finally settled on, rubbing my chin thoughtfully. Maybe it was a bad idea, for her to be dressed like this. I can only imagine the other men in town appreciating her in this light, and the thought that one might decide to pursue her irritated me. Because honestly any man in town save for the unemotional doctor could probably do a better job at courting a woman than I could.

"T-thank you," she stammered, a light blush creeping over her cheeks as she reached out for me hesitantly. I took her hand, and lead her without another word off the farm.

_With Claire, that pang was gone, and all I had to do was look at her to forget I had even had it in the first place. But I guess she knew it was still there. Perhaps she hadn't wanted me to dwell on 'what ifs.' Maybe her last act towards me had been an act of mercy on her part, though I found it to be betrayal and abandonment._

"You did really well tonight Claire," I said quietly as we sat in the small field just past the lake, where all the spring flowers bloomed. Jack and Mary had opted to go to the summit and watch the stars appear for their romantic moment alone. "You must have practiced very hard," I added, leaning back onto the soft thick grass, wondering why it was there never seemed to be any ants in this place.

I did," she whispered, turning her head down and I chuckled when her bangs fell into her eyes. I reached up and began to untangle the loose flowers from her hair, knowing by this point they must be pulling her hair with their weight. Her hand caught mine, and she gave me a weak smile.

"What do you want to do in your life, Gray?" she murmured, her eyes shutting, as if trying to keep me from seeing something in them. I blinked at her, continuing my task and remaining silent as I thought over the question.

"I don't know," I finally said, tossing the flowers next to her. "I've never really thought about it, so I've never made any long term goals. I mean…" I began, lifting my hat and scratching the top of my head. "I guess one day I'll take over the forge, and I'll stay here as long as I can survive being a blacksmith," I murmured, opting to look away from Claire's curious face. "But other than that…I don't really know."

"Don't you want to get married?" she pressed on, and I could hear the smile in her question without even looking at her.

"I did at one point…I even had bought the engagement feather," I said without thinking. I had never lied to the woman, and even if it wasn't something I wanted to discuss, I wasn't about to start now. "But it fell through. I haven't really thought about it since," I trailed off with a sigh, watching as the stars began to appear in the darkening purple sky. "What do you want to do?" I found myself asking, and I heard the defeated sigh leaving the woman and could feel waves of depression radiating from her.

"This is really all I have to look forward to now, you know?" she said, some what bitterly. She seemed to realize how she sounded and shook her head, a wishful smile gracing her full pink lips. "Before this happened…I had dreams though. Huge goals. I wanted to be educated, go to college. I wanted to travel, to see the world. I guess… that is why I find Kai so interesting. Because he does the things I wanted to do." She shook her head and relaxed back onto the grass herself.

I didn't say much to her, because really what could I say? It wasn't like I could tell her to keep her hopes up and that one day she would be able to travel and see the world like she wanted. Because she wouldn't. She wouldn't be able to see.

"Maybe one day…we can make future goals together," I finally said, though the woman didn't respond. She was lost in her own thoughts, and her own turmoil. There really wasn't much I could do about it but wait for her to come out of it…

_I had never realized that Claire had been my spring until the Summer came and took her away._


	13. Summers End

**I'm working hard on Kai's one shot- then I will post it and epilogue to this on the same do. Should be soon I hope. Epilogue is done- I just want to post Kai's chapter first :)**

**Hope this was worth the wait. We're almost done guys!**

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_I wish I could remember what happened next, the tedious everyday things I had come to not appreciate. I had taken those things as a given, and in the end they were anything but that._

_Spring had flown by way to fast in my opinion, and I had been worried on the day before summer arrived when the tan man had appeared in front of Jack's house to greet Claire on his first day back. She had claimed I had nothing to worry about, that Kai couldn't damage our relationship. _

_But Goddess he'd done nothing to help it in the end had he?_

_It hadn't been Claire I had been worried about when it came to Kai. Not in the sense that she would fall for the man, who was to me more suited for a girl like Claire, with the exception of his constant flirting with the Poultry Farm heiress. No what worried me was Kai and how I __**felt**__ he had fallen for her._

"_That's completely silly, Gray. Kai is my friend, nothing more, on __**either**__ side."_

_I wonder if she was here now if she would say the same thing._

_I don't really remember much leading up to when Claire left. I had thought Claire and I were fine, stable, and secure in what was our relationship. But somehow I had managed to make the woman think that she wasn't what I wanted._

_But it really wasn't until after she was gone that I knew she had been all I wanted._

_I found it ironic that the fight that ended my relationship had been what sealed and finalized Mary and Jack's. After all it was less than a season after Claire disappeared that they were married._

_But that fight…_

_Even now I had no idea what it was about. I had no idea what had went on before Claire and I had walked to the library. All I could remember was Jack storming down the path, almost bumping me as he muttered under his breath. I hadn't though anything of it, and Claire had continued to talk to me about what it had been that Kai and she had done this morning. But when we walked into the library…_

The first thing that pulled me attention away from Claire's story was a stifled sniffle, and I had long ago learned that sound, as it was one of the things in this world that I tried damn hard to avoid. I looked through the library, seeing the young woman wiping furiously at her face. She put her glasses back on and blinked at me and my companion, before moving quickly over to us.

"Oh Gray…you were right. You were right about him the whole time." I found the woman that was suddenly in my arms was unwilling to let go of me, and I awkwardly wrapped one arm around her shaking shoulders.

"I…uh…I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding," I muttered lamely, rubbing in between her shoulders in hopes it would ease her tears. I looked over towards Claire, whose face was turned to the ground.

"I think…maybe I should leave," she began, and I reached out with my free arm, tugging her more towards me. That was the last thing I wanted.

"No. Don't do that," I murmured out, shaking my head and being so stupid as to try to plead to the blind woman with my eyes. I felt her small hand run over mine and thankfully squeezed her shoulder.

There was no way I wanted to be left alone with Mary, not with her sobbing over something I didn't care to understand at the moment.

It confused me really- as this moment was what I had been yearning for. I had been waiting a long time for Jack to screw up so I could win the woman in my arms back. But she wasn't the woman I wanted in my arms anymore.

_What ever I did for Claire to make her decision- it happened that night at the bar. After we spent a good hour or two with the upset woman. I don't much remember anything about that night- other than the fact that I was drunk as hell._

I felt the hand pushing down my arm, the cup of relief moving from my lips. I scowled over at the concerned looking woman, but regardless of how badly I wanted another sip of the liquor I let the cup rest on the old ring stained counter top.

"The reason you're in this position right now is because you can't decide…if you want to move on or not."

_And I hesitated._

"I can decide," I protested, my eyebrows furrowing as I tried to make sense of my thoughts. They seemed sluggish and confused, similar to how my body was acting under the influence of all the alcohol I had drank.

"Then why are you in here drinking away your problems?" she woman huffed, standing up from her stool and pushing away from the counter.

"That isn't what I'm doing," I growled out, though I did know that it was a big part of it, whether I chose to admit it or not. I felt Claire tugging at my sleeve and I stood, be it extremely wobbly, and allowed her to place my arm around her shoulders. I couldn't help but to silently laugh at the idea of this blind woman leading me anywhere, but I allowed her to support some of my weight, and quietly told her the directions as she tried her best to lug me upstairs. I fell against the wall several times on the way to my room, and chuckled at some uncharacteristic curses that left her when I did. It seemed that it took her forever to lead me to my bed, and when I laid on it my eyelids shut heavily.

It was a change, her being my hero for once. Even if all she had done was lead me to bed.

_But she had done so much more than that. She had given me reason to want to live, to want to heal…_

I felt the soft pair of lips pressed against mine and tiredly opened my heavy eyes, seeing Claire's face hovering over mine.

"Is it okay for me to be selfish this one time? To want to be with you?" she whispered softly, her lips brushing over my ear as she spoke. As she finished she gently pressed them against my neck, sucking the area softly.

"Is that what you want?" I asked gently, my hands coming to pull her into my lap, holding her snuggly around the waist as I nuzzled her cheek.

"It's not a question of what I want. It's a question of what you want. You…are unwilling to let her go still," she murmured as she pushed back.

"You can be as damn selfish as you want where I'm concerned," I muttered out, lips brushing over her neck, choosing to ignore her observation."As long as I can be selfish too," I added after a few moments, placing a light kiss against the sensitive flesh.

I maybe couldn't decide what to do about this situation with Mary, but I knew without a single doubt that right now I wanted Claire, and if she would allow me too, I would have her. I rolled suddenly, pinning her to the mattress of my bed, staring down into her empty eyes.

"I wish…you could see the way I look at you Claire," I whispered softly, hand cupping her cheek and fingers brushing over her lips. If she could see the way I looked at her, the way I felt about her, then I wouldn't have to find the courage to say what I needed to tell her. But she couldn't, and I still couldn't find the courage.

"What would I see?" Claire asked as she leaned into my hand, her blue eyes shutting as she grasped my calloused hand with her tiny hand, pulling the fingertips up to her lips and pressing the softness against them.

"I don't know…" I said softly, frowning some at the answer.

_Maybe that was how I screwed up. Because in that moment I knew that the lines between reality and fantasy blurred. I had no idea what happened next. But at some point she left. And that was the last time I ever saw her. _

_So I had to have screwed up._

_I suppose I wouldn't know for sure unless Claire came back._

_All I could recall was the smell of her perfume, and the hangover I had the next morning. And a tid bit of a dream that I hope she hadn't been around to hear the content of. And as all dreams I couldn't recall all of it. But I did remember how it had started off._

She let her other small hand grab my sleeve, pulling me more to her. I rested on top of her, completely happy with the current position.

"I want you…" I murmured huskily, hands traveling over her clothed body, rubbing up and down her with a sudden enthusiasm. "I want to touch you, feel you…I want to hear you…I want to see you," I murmured incoherently, my mind becoming more foggy as lust took me over. I wanted to touch her bare skin, feel her warm body under mine, hear her gasp and moan and see her cry for me.

_Maybe that was why I had the urge to see her the next morning. To make sure I hadn't embarrassed her or myself…_

I winced in the morning sunlight, hearing the ferry horn in the distance signaling its departure. I suppose Kai was calling it an early summer this year…not that it mattered much to me…

_But in the time it took me to get to Jack's, and our discovery of Claire missing, and of course the time to run to the damn beach it had ended up being the thing that should have mattered most. _

_Because Claire had been on that ferry. And I had missed it's departure by the damn fifteen minutes it took me to find her missing and get back. _

_Claire had tried to give me the opportunity to follow what she believed was in my heart._

_She just didn't know that she had been what was there._


	14. Dawn's New Light

**A/N- There is another bit to this story in Kai's POV- it's called Guardian Angel and was posted a few days ago. It's the story of the in between when Claire left and this bit. So if you didn't read it, please do, so you know what all happened. **

**Thanks so much for reading and following this for me. I'm sad its over, but I have this weird sense of accomplishment. **

**Enjoy. Yay for finishing my first long fic! Woot!!  
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**Claire's POV**

I reached down and cupped the soft pudgy face of my son as I squatted to his level, thumbs pressing away his frustrated tears.

"Cameron, it will be alright" I murmured out, shaking my head and closing my eyes. Out of habit my fingers roamed over his face, something that I sadly did often when it came to my son. I couldn't help myself, with Kai telling me for years that he was the spitting image of Gray. But as hard as I could I couldn't feel any of it.

"But momma, if…if I don't have my hat, I'm not like my daddy," he protested stubbornly, and I shook my head, giving him a reassuring smile.

"I promise I'll find it before I get off the boat."

What memories I had, that I clung to so dearly, didn't agree with Kai. Perhaps when he was older I would know. When he reached his full height and his jaw became more defined. Would he have his father's pessimistic nature? I closed my eyes, pulling on those memories and trying to relive every one of them knowing I was so close

One thing about my son, I knew without a doubt that a lot of his actions mimicked that of his father. He showed a lot of his characteristics, such as the mild discontent he seemed to feel for his stand in father figure. Pretend as he might I knew that Cameron clung to Kai, as he was the only normal link to his real father. Kai had filled Cameron's head with an image, and though it was more real than I cared to believe I often wondered if I clung to the fantasy as well. Hearing about Gray from Kai's point of view made the man very much a legend.

My eyes opened slowly when I felt Cameron's hands on my face, his fingers mimicking my movements. I remember when I carried him, stupidly wondering if there was a chance my son would be blind. It had been a fear that gripped me because of a dream, and I had prayed that that it was only a nightmare and not a premonition.

"Are your eyes broken again mama? You've touching my face a lot," Cameron asked, his large blue eyes furrowed in a type of concern a child his age shouldn't have.

"No…mama was just thinking. Go ahead and help uncle Kai unpack," I said gently, ruffling his shaggy red hair. It was amazing that he could remember back that far. He had been nearly three before I had to go in for a second surgery, and the fact that he remembered my temporary relapse worried me. I would have come back earlier if that hadn't had happened, and…Kai was concerned it might happen again. But…whether it did or not didn't matter. What mattered was getting back and being able to see Gray at least once...

I began to look around the cabin when Cameron disappeared, wondering how he could have lost his hat in the small space.

Over the years I had been so selfish, I wasn't sure I deserved what I yearned for, to see the man I loved. I had left him, stolen his son away from him and hadn't even called the man to let him know anything. It had been fear of rejection that had held me back.

And I despised that.

Even if it was too late for me, for us, Cameron nor Gray had deserved for me to hide for so long. I had taken away the chance for Gray to hold his infant son, to see his first steps and hear his first words. I had left my own flesh and blood riddled with questions I couldn't answer about his father.

And then there was Kai, and the unforgivable thing I had done to him, asking the impossible and knowing that he was doing it because he loved me. I had tried to apologize once years ago, but Kai had interrupted me.

"_I'm not a stupid man Claire. I'm not oblivious, and I'm not blind. I knew what I was getting into the moment you found out about Cameron."_

I didn't deserve for anyone to forgive me, and I might never be able to get that. But at the very least I would be able to give my son what he had been yearning for. For him to meet his father.

I could only hope that Gray's anger at me wouldn't be transferred to our son.

**Gray's POV**

I smiled to myself as I closed the journal, shaking my head and placing it on the small book shelf of my tiny home. A lot had changed in five years, but damn sure not that.

I had been able to save up enough money to have a small cottage built across from Jack's farm and close to the forge. I had passed my grandfather's tests and had finally been able to become a full fledged blacksmith.

Jack and Mary had young son who was nearly four now, and all the married my couples were expecting it seemed. Everyone was moving on, changing.

But yet I was still here, pinning over that woman. And I didn't want that to change. Even if I had long ago given up all hope of that.

After all she was with Kai still.

They hadn't come back since they left all those years ago, but…

A little over a year after they had left, I had gotten a letter with no return address. And inside of it had been a black and white photo of all things…

I glanced over at the dresser mirror, seeing that picture in question looking back at me. I couldn't help but to smile, even if it sealed the certainty of my loneliness forever.

Claire was holding a young child with barley any hair, its small pudgy fist gripping her index finger as she smiled down at it. She looked as I remembered her, only with much shorter hair for whatever the reason…

But the fact was she looked so content- so happy in that picture that I couldn't bring myself to feel anything but the happiness she must have felt holding that baby, and at the same time the pain she must be feeling of knowing she could never truly watch her child grow.

And for some reason I tended to hang out at the beach when I was off every summer since I had received that photo. I had hoped they would come back to Mineral Town, so Claire could visit her brother, and I would have the chance to see how happy Kai made her, and if I could really be alright with him being the one to hold her every night.

I was lost in thought when I left my house, and I was surprised when I was knocked slightly off balance by something that had evidently attached itself to my leg.

"Uncle Gray!" it shouted and I chuckled some, ruffling the dark brown locks of hair of the small child and smiling down into a pair of eerily familiar eyes that I had once upon a time been in love with, ironically behind and also eerily familiar set of thick lens glasses.

"Hey there, Mason, how are you?" I asked, gaze flickering up to see the young boys parents walking towards me, Jack once again weighed down with the essentials plus extra. Mary was always overly prepared.

"Fine, thank you," he said hurriedly, tugging on my hand and seemingly determined to pull me towards the pathway. "Come on Uncle Gray, we got to hurry to the beach. It will be bedtime if we don't," he said urgently, and I had to stifle a laugh when Mary chided the boy for pulling on me.

As we walked down the pathway to the beach a strong gust of wind blew my hat off, taking it swiftly over the white sand until it stopped rolling on the ground by hitting someone's small feet. I felt my eyebrows raise when a small child picked up the hat, looking wide eyed over to the direction it had came from. Evidently the sight of the four of us was intimidating and he turned his attention back to the other end of the beach, clutching the hat to himself and bursting into a sprint.

I watched curiously as the small strawberry blond boy ran off towards Kai's old shack, evidently gathering the attention of someone who was inside, who came outside to examine things. I felt my chest tighten some with anticipation when I saw that familiar worn purple bandana.

If he was here…then…

I blinked when the form of Jack rushed passed me, somewhat angrily and at the same time excitedly. He was shouting some at Kai, who seemed to shake his head and point to the pier. I followed his finger to see the ferry, and I summarized that Claire must be on it. Jack took off down the pier, and I sighed, watching as Mary and Mason followed him, the luggage for the trip forgotten somewhere behind me.

I had been waiting for this moment for so long…but now that it was here... I just didn't feel like I belonged.

I felt eyes on me and looked back to where Kai was. He seemed to be in thought as he knelt down, and pointed to my hat and then towards me. I blanched some when I saw the small boy look towards me as well, and to my surprise he started walking towards me. I blinked in confusion as Kai also took off down the pier, leaving me and the small boy alone.

I gulped when the small boy's intense stare refused to waver, and opted to kneel down like Kai had done so I could better examine the boy as he got closer. I could easily make out a few of Claire's facial features, one being the way his nose pointed ever slightly upward. The similarity only made me smile at the young boy, my hand reaching out for my hat. But to my surprise he put it on his head, and just glared at me as if daring me to remove it.

"He said I could keep it," the boy said softly, crossing his arms over his chest as if to pout, and I just stared at him in some type of stupid aw. I scowled and shook my head, hand reaching out to take the cap but rolling my eyes when the kid jumped back.

"I don't care what your dad said, that is …"

"He's not my dad. He's my uncle. Uncle Kai said I could keep this hat," the boy stated firmly, pulling the brim down. "Mine got lost on the boat. Mama is looking for it," he explained carefully, and watched me. "So Uncle Kai said I could use this one until she found mine."

" Shouldn't you be helping her look for it. It's not likes she can…Wait? Uncle?" I repeated dumbly, and the scowl on the child in front of me seemed to echo that. "If he's your uncle, then where is your dad?"

"Don't got one." He stated as if it was nothing, and then he seemed to think better of it. "Well Uncle Kai says I do…but I never met him before. Mama said I was still in here when she left home," he said, pointing to his belly and shaking his head. "She says that is where babies come from, but Uncle Kai says…"

I found that I wasn't really listening, because the moment he said the first bit about his father, I began to notice how damn familiar this kid looked, and just why his scowl seemed intimidating on him. Because it was fucking hereditary. He had it, my grandfather had it, and I had it.

And right in front of me was proof that what I had presumed for years to be a dream, was damn sure not. And no one had bothered to tell me. I wasn't sure if I should be happy or pissed off or what. But that was quickly decided

"…and when the man and woman really like each other, the man will take her into the bedroom,"

"What? He told you that?" I finally muttered, anger flashing in my eyes as I realized that Kai's explanation on babies had evidently left nothing out, and I stood up, glaring at the smirking face of the tan man. That damn sure wasn't something that you told a kid this age, let alone _my _kid.

I made my way past the now silent child, determined to wipe that smirk off that arrogant bastards face. He had taken Claire off, and hadn't brought her home when they found out she was pregnant. And…they waited five goddamn years to come back. I paused, looking back at the small child, who since I figured it out looked more like a clone of myself than I had realized before.

And watching his curious gaze I found that there were more important matters at hand than explain to Kai while at this young age that the stork was perfect substitute for the sex talk.

"Hey…what is your name?" I asked the child, turning back to him fully and even offering him a smile. He blinked at me and opened his mouth right before a familiar shout carried through the air.

"Cameron! I found it!"

The young boy seemed to forget I was even there as he looked behind me and then took off as fast as he could back towards the pier. I blinked at the empty space in front of me before I realized just whose voice that had been. I spun around, and it was almost as if the wind was knocked out of me when I landed eyes on the woman.

She was waving at the direction of the incoming child, in her hand clutched tightly was a green hat, and as soon as the young boy reached her, he tore it from her grasp and replaced it. I glanced past them to see Jack and Kai in a seemingly heated conversation, and I locked my jaw knowing that soon enough I would be part of it, though if Jack and I would be on the same side given the fact that Claire's son was mine was questionable. My son….Cameorn… handed her my larger hat, and pointed over to me. I raised my eyebrows when she nodded, and holding her hand he lead her to me.

It must be hard for him to have to take care of her. If he was anything like me, then he had a strong sense to protect those he loved. I wonder what it was like for him, growing up with a mother that couldn't see…

"Hello," Claire's warm voice said softly, and I met her eyes, my own widening at the fact that she appeared to be looking right at me. I blinked and watched as she offered me the hat, and I took it warily, still trying to figure out exactly what had happened. But then the pieces seemed to click together. That picture Kai had sent me…Claire had very short hair. She…must have gone through with the surgery.

I hesitantly took the hat, twisting it nervously in my hands and looking between the two, afraid to say anything. I didn't know whether to shake and scold her or to hug the damn woman. She seemed to falter under my intense gaze and pushed some of her hair behind her ear.

"It's not polite to stare," the small voice beneath her snapped, and she yanked on the small boy's earlobe. Well at the least I knew he did his best to protect his mother.

"It's rude to speak that way to an adult," she said firmly, narrowing her eyes on the child. He sulked some and looked up at me, giving me a death glare.

"Sorry."

"You'll have to forgive him. He's been this way since we left the city. He didn't want to come here…" she trialed off, looking at me as if waiting for me to say anything. I opted on nodding and just stared between the two.

"Uncle Kai said we should have stayed longer. The Doctor said so too," the young boy muttered, his small tennis shoe clad foot kicking up the sand. She patted the top of the small boys head, looking down at him fondly as she spoke.

"Mama left home a long time ago. I feel that I've been away long enough as it is. It doesn't matter if we stay or not Cameron. There is nothing for anyone to do if things go bad again…and besides. There is something important I have to do here." she absentmindedly brought her hand up to her chest, fingers fiddling with something. It took me a moment to realize what.

Her necklace.

I watched as she played with the golden key, running the tip of her finger over it. A thoughtful smile came over her face and she seemed distant for a moment before realizing that I was still there and watching her.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me," she began, her hand resting on her chest. "I'm …"

"Claire," I stated quietly, the sound of my own voice foreign and strained. She blinked at me before turning her head to the side curiously.

"Yes. As you can see…I'm not the same as I was when I left, so you'll have to forgive me for not knowing you…" She stopped talking when I reached out, brushing over the small key pendent and stepping closer to her. She was watching me warily, but at the moment I was in another time- another place.

I heard her let out a small gasp when I took her hands and placed them on my face, pressing them against my cheeks and closing my eyes for a moment. It was silly. She wouldn't be able to know it was me this way. I opened my eyes and looked down into her forget-me-not-blue ones. She seemed confused, and somewhat uncomfortable as I released her hands, opting to pull her flush against me and rest my chin on top of her head. She remained silent for a moment, and then I could sense her shift, relaxing into me.

**Claire's POV**

I was about to protest the man's grip on me, and I could see Cameron reading to kick the stranger in his shin if he didn't release me. But suddenly an all too familiar scent invaded my senses. I could smell earth and smoke, and my eyes shut as my trembling arms came up to wrap around him.

"Gray…" I whispered out, feeling his grip tighten on me all the more. I tightened my grip on him as well, wondering if I had hit my head on the boat and if this was some type of sick dream. I moved my hands up, holding his face and feeling over it before opening my eyes.

I cupped his cheeks, taking in everything about him. He was a lot taller than me, the top of my head probably coming up to his collar bone, and his shoulders were broad, his arms bigger than I could remember- more than likely from his work. I pushed back some of his familiar unruly red hair, the same shade as Cameron's, and but my lip to notice the same light colored skin. I felt my hands begin to shake as my thumbs brushed over some fading freckles, very similar to the ones on our son, and I bit back a sob.

Cameron looked near identical to him.

I moved my fingers slowly over his face, memorizing it like I had Cameron's when my vision had been receding a few years ago.

His bangs were messily covering his forehead, the tips brushing past his eyebrows. He had a well defined jaw line, not the baby face that Cameron possessed, and his lips weren't too thick nor to thin. I blushed some as I remembered those lips kissing mine the last time I was in Mineral Town, and remembering then thinking that he simply must have just been a kissable man.

But the thing that amazed me the most was his eyes. The deep sapphire blue looked so different when I saw them on this man. These eyes were burning, and I was fairly sure that if he wanted he could very much pin me with a stare. They were looking at me intently, a fair mixture of shock and irritation written on his face. But there was something else in that look, a type of relief and another emotion that I wouldn't dare call love. I didn't have the right to claim that emotion.

I don't know how long I looked at him before finally burying my face in his chest, content to just cling to him.

**Gray's POV**

"Stupid woman…its was stupid of you to leave for this…and then not come back for so damn long," I whispered in her hair, feeling her shaking hands fist in my shirt sleeves. "And…you never bothered to think to call…to let me know anything."

"I was scared." She murmured quietly, her face turning to look down at the obviously uncomfortable young boy. "I knew everyone would try to talk me out of it…and then when I found out about Cameron…I just couldn't imagine going through life not able to see him….I had to." She seemed to be trying to hold back her tears and she pointed towards Kai, and the child took off towards him. "So much has happened since I left…"

"Obviously," I muttered, watching the disappearing child and feeling her tense some.

"He is your son…"

"I figured as much. He looks just like me," I hissed, my anger flaring as more outraged thoughts entered my mind.

"Kai always said so…but…" she pushed back and looked up at me. "I never understood how much till now…" she looked down at the sand and shook her head. "I know you…are probably angry and may even hate me…"

"Five damn years Claire. Five years…and you come back with that boy. You robbed me of watching you grow…of seeing him grow…"I interrupted angrily, muttering to myself, pushing back some to look at her in my frustration. "I didn't deserve that!"

"No…but I thought…" she shook her head, pushing back from me as well.

"Did you think at all about how I might feel? About anything but yourself?" I questioned angrily. What if she hadn't made it out of surgery. Then our son would have grown up without a mother. Did she even take time to consider what might happen to her or to me? And if something happened to her how it would affect everyone?

"Gray…there is no excuse for what I did. I didn't have to keep the pregnancy from you…but…what the hell was I supposed to do? Have Kai show up with him after he was born, and tell you he was a product from a night you were too drunk to even remember? What was I supposed to do if I came back and you were taken with Mary again?"

"You should have came back her so I could help you, so I could be with you. I would have gotten you through it all. I wouldn't have done that…I wouldn't have gotten back with her, even if Jack and her hadn't worked it out," I muttered darkly, grabbing her chin and forcing her to look up at me. "Because you were all I wanted. Hell woman, you are still all I want," I said the latter quietly, even offering her a small smile. "I love you…"

"I know you do…I've known that all the time," she said tearfully, wiping her eyes and shaking her head. I frowned and blinked at her in confusion.

"Then why did you leave?" She closed her eyes, her hands coming up to cup my face before she opened them back, her cheeks tainted a lightest shade of pink. I watched in some type of weird fascination as she blinked tears out of her glistening eyes.

"Because you wanted me to be able to see the way you look at me. And I wanted that too….more than anything in the world. You said…I could be as selfish as I wanted when it came to you."

I pulled her tightly against me as she buried her head in my chest, my eyes shutting as I remembered the words I had said the night before she left.

"_I wish…you could see the way I look at you Claire." _

"_What would I see?" _

"_I don't know…" _

If I had known...she was going to leave I would have answered...

"I...I should have told you back then," I muttered, opening my eyes to see a small group of people observing us from a distance. I could make out Kai, holding a rather large looking book in his hand as he approached. His other hand rested on the shoulder of the small boy, and as he got closer he looked down at him, smiling.

What was I supposed to do about this? What would be the best way to explain to this young child that I was his father? It didn't take much for Kai to take matters into his own hands.

"Cameron...this rather scary looking man, is your daddy."I blinked at Kai and then looked at Claire out of the corner of my eye.

"He's not very scary to me," the child said with a shrug, his eyes examining me. "He looks like me, and I'm not scary," he said adamantly, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring up at Kai. "Mama says I'm very handsome."

The statement had Kai snorting and covering his mouth to hold back laughter, and I shook my head before looking in between the woman my arm was still protectively wrapped around and the man that had acted in my stead the last few years.

Between the two of them we had a lot of catching up to do…

* * *

_**Two years later…**_

**Cameron's POV**

"How much longer, Grandpa?" I asked the old man next to me, returning the glare he was giving me through his bushy eyebrows. He sighed and shook his head, choosing to ignore me.

"Cameron he told you five minutes ago he doesn't know."

I rolled my eyes at the voice, glaring at Uncle Kai, who was hugging Aunt Popuri tightly, his hand resting on her big belly. I slid off the chair, stumbling some when I hit my feet and walked over to them. I touched the large belly myself, having been used to it since mama was always touching hers. I thought maybe I could feel it move, but when I didn't feel anything I let out a big sigh and sat next to Uncle Kai.

"You think it will take this long for Aunt Popuri?" I asked, trying to get someone to talk to me. This was just so boring. I didn't understand why I couldn't go in there with mom and dad. It was totally unfair.

"I hope not. It didn't take this long when your mama had you," Uncle Kai muttered, his large finger rubbing over the gold band that he had daddy make for her last year.

"This is taking entirely too long," Uncle Jack finally said loudly, standing up and beginning to pace. I bit my lip to keep from laughing at him, because mama had told me it wasn't right to laugh at Uncle Jack's temper. I instead ran past him and to the now open seat by Aunt Mary.

"Why couldn't Cousin Mason come?" I asked with a pout, and the dark haired woman smiled and patted my head. "Because he is with his grandparents today."

I looked at the small baby in her arms and sighed. "Why didn't cousin Jace go too? I can't play with him yet," I muttered dejectedly, and stuck my tongue out at Uncle Jack when he picked me up out of his seat.

"Get out of my seat, squirt," he said teasingly, and I let out another sigh when I once again found myself on the floor, with no one to play with, no one to talk to and no TV to watch.

I turned my back to the people in the room, choosing to ignore them like they did me, and began to count the square tiles on the floor.

I let out a small cry when I found myself being lifted up, rather highly and my arms wrapped tightly around the neck of my dad, seeing him grinning at me and spinning me around. He looked around the room and even though he was in this stupid looking blue sheet thing no one was laughing at him.

"It's a girl," he said loudly, and I don't think I had ever seen my dad smile so big, even when I busted my first boulder in the winter mines. "Claire's fine, the baby is fine…I'll bring her out after Cameron sees her," he said quickly, turning and carrying me into the room I hadn't been allowed to go in earlier.

I pushed back and made a face at my dad, grabbing his face and turning it to me. "A sister?"

He chuckled some and nodded his head. "Yeah…but she's going to need you to look out for her, you know? You have to make sure no one picks on her. Just like you do for your mama," he said quietly as he stepped inside a small room of the side and pulled back a smelly curtain. I blinked down at my mama, and narrowed my eyes at the small blanket she was holding.

I was about to tell dad that I didn't see anything when a tiny hand came out of the blankets, causing me to lean down to get a closer look. Mama smiled at me and pulled the blankets back so I could see the small baby, and I narrowed my eyes some what worriedly.

"She's a lot smaller than Jace was. Is she sick?"

"No. She's just small. Girls are smaller than boys," Dad said, ruffling my hair. I glared at him and pushed it back to its proper place, wishing that I had time to grab my hat before dad had rushed us over here. But when I had went to the living room and shook him awake on the couch he had been in a big hurry when I told him mama had said her water broke.

"What is her name?" Daddy shrugged and looked at mama, who was looking down at the baby like she did at all babies.

"Gracen?" she whispered out, and Daddy nodded, leaning over and brushing a finger of the small chubby fist. I mimicked him after he pulled away, and my eyes widened when the hand caught my hair. I nodded firmly, looking at the baby as I spoke.

"I'm going to call her Grace for short," I said firmly, and heard my dad laugh at me. I turned back and looked at him angrily, crossing my arms over my chest and shaking my head. "She's a pretty baby, even if she is a girl. You just…try harder to get me a brother next time."

I continued to glower at my dad, even when he started laughing and was joined in by mama. I didn't see what was so funny, but I was determined to have a brother. No matter how many times my daddy had to try.


End file.
